Watch Me Fall

Well, here we are

I want to say some of the things you said involved me. And part of me is happy I read it, part of me wishes I left it alone. But you know what they say, curiosity kills the cat. And consider me grade A dead. I wish I could just apologize and make everything just go away, but you know as well as I do that I can't, no matter how much I wish I never threw you to the curb. It feels like no matter what happens you always try to see the good in me. But my only real confusion is..

what's so special about me? I can name a few people that you would have gave up on long ago if they did and said what I did. But what makes me so special that you still care about me?

Oh, and I should tell you, i'm a little bit different from last year. I'm mature enough to actually consider advice and take it if I can. Now, I am done getting mad at people for trying to help me. I realize that you were right to begin with, and yeah some of the things you said hurt me to hear, but they were true. Andrew pretty much left me to deal with my problems, not even trying to help me or tell my dad he loved me. He didn't even defend himself. So yeah, you were right about him. You all were. Yet I lost a few of you because of him. And now I feel alone, yet again. I don't really pity myself anymore. Yeah, it sucks. I wish Linda would come back, I wish others wouldn't be so weird around me..but, here we are. In a post apocalyptic, post war society where everyone has split. I have some friends, and that's cool..I know the only people that are here for me for sure until the end are Sav and Gingee. (And you & "A.C", counting people that used to go here in this school). 

I realize that now I gotta be strong. For now I do have to deal with some of my problems alone. All I ask is that you stay with me a little longer. I need you more than ever, and you showed up just in time. I don't expect you to forget the past, but I beg that you don't leave. I'm not going off on you. I do appreciate you and i'm happy you're here with me. I'm sorry that I'm not the best person, or the best friend, but i'm improving. And yeah, you should know by now that I do love you. You do mean a lot to me. You have always been a lot cooler than me, anyways.