Dusk And Dawn ✔️

Lan's Choice

{Note:- This chapter is not divided into past and present arcs. 

The things in this chapter happen almost nineteen years before the Present arc starts. It's the year 2000.}

*Almost twenty years ago*

 *Just before Dawn*

 *Lan mansion*

Lan Wangji opens the window to his bedroom. 

He smiles and walks towards Xiao Xian, who is as unmoving as the day he had taken his own life almost four hundred years ago.

"Happy birthday, Xian." Wangji wishes the man in his bed. He picks up the love of his life in his arms and places him in the wheelchair. 

He supports Xian's body with a hand on his shoulder and wheels him to the open window.

"It's a beautiful day, Xian. Can you feel how beautiful the sky looks?" Wangji asks and crouches down next to Xian's wheelchair; He strokes Xian's face gently, "I love you. I will always love you." He leans in and presses his lips to Xian's. "Xian, let's get you ready. I have bought the most beautiful suit for you. It's red. You know, you look beautiful in red, don't you."

The immortal looks at the rising sun and squints his eyes. Looking at the sun hurts his eyes, but he looks at it anyway. After all, Xian loves dawn. He stands looking out the window for a few minutes. And when the sun has fully risen, he wheels Xian to the bathroom.

He cups Xian's face, "I know you are the one who likes taking care of me, but just let me take care of you till you wake up, alright. I promise, once you wake up, I will be completely in your hands. You can do what you want to me."

Wangji places a soft kiss on Xian's cheek, "Please do me the honor of giving you a bath." He requests, taking off his upper garments; he undoes Xian's upper garment next. His brows crease when he looks at the lotus mark on Xian's chest. He touches it and looks at Xian, 'Is it my imagination or has the mark faded?'

Wangji closes his eyes, 'It's my imagination. It has to be- Xian is perfect like always. He will come back to me. He has to. Maybe the mark is fading because- No, it's my imagination.' He doesn't understand why the lotus mark that had always been on Xian had faded. So he ignores it; denies it; and proceeds like nothing had changed. 

"Sorry, I got distracted, my love." Wangji once again kisses Xian's cheek and continues to disrobe him. 

Once both of them have disrobed, he carries Xian into the bathtub filled with vanilla-scented warm water and sits him in it. 

He had ordered the custom-built the bathtub keeping Xian in mind. He takes the sponge and lightly cleans Xian's body. Then he cleans himself and holds Xian in his arms for a few minutes. 

"Xian, how many times more will I have to fail before you finally come back to me?" Wangji asks. Tears start falling freely on Xian's neck and roll down his upper back before mixing with the bathwater. Slowly the water starts turning pink.

"I don't think I can go on anymore. But I can't even end my wretched life because you have tied us together. Xian, my love, I don't think there will ever be another one of you. I think only you can accept me. I think uncle Cong was wrong in thinking that you will return in a different body. I think you will return to me like this." Wangji murmurs, burying his face in Xian's neck. 

"I don't think I can keep getting my hopes up. I can't keep getting my heart broken over and over again."

He let's go of Xian and looks at the pink-colored water around them. He checks Xian's back that is stained red from Wangji's tears.