Book Smart

Eighty Four

After opening four boxes of books and finally finding a beat-up copy of one of ny favorite fairytales Silas assures Liam and Casper that he's fine fixing the sink to spare them the misfortune of dealing with someone who thinks they should deny the very truth of their cores... The fact that they complete each other and always would...

Instead of leaving out the front door Silas shows us all out of the side door that leads onto grass instead of onto the back porch and we bid the sweet couple goodbye as Daddy locks the door behind us.

There is no mention of the death trap of a bike parked out front when I finally tear my eyes away from his long braid as his deep brown hair catches the early afternoon sun and gets startled by the sight that greets me. The backyard is really pretty, all surrounded by the forest that envelops our serene shared hideaway, interrupted only by the screened-in porch, as well as decently sized stand-alone garage and what looks to be a tool shed. Instead of taking away from the magical feel of my new home it only adds to its charm, the buildings not untouched by the very determined vines of thick roping ivy that seem intent on climbing every surface they can latch on to.

....
Silas
...

All it takes is my hand settled on the small of my sweetheart's back to guide him in the desired direction to the garage... To the car instead of my bike. 

Now is not the time to try and coax him into another ride... Not when it seems so hard for him to reign in his emotions at the moment.

Its as if my sweet boy had been pushed past sensory overload and has been plunged headfirst into a vat of nerves and uneasiness as I open the garage door with the fob looped onto my keys.

My angel seems much more eager at the thought of the drive now seeing the pickup truck I rarely use. I escort him to the passenger side and help him climb in after opening the door for him, my hand only lingering on his ass for a moment before I pull the surprise I had grabbed while letting him make the final decision on what novel he wanted to bring with us and hold up the chocolate bar where he can see it.

Hopefully, the earthy taste of the dark chocolate can help keep him grounded... Maybe the hint of sea salt will help him feel a bit more balanced, "You can eat it while you read."

...
Adrian
...

I tug the thoughtful offering out of Silas's hand and give him a smile before he closes the door, abandoning me only long enough to circle to the other side of the can and climb into the big black monstrosity that is his secondary vehicle.

I let my eyes flutter shut as the engine roars to life and the truck pulls itself into motion, Silas guiding the vehicle with accuracy as we turn down a trail I hadn't noticed next to the house that leads up to the driveway and out to the road.

I've always been a fan of calming drives... Before she started falling apart, Grammy used to tell me stories of how Mom and Dad used to take turns driving around in the neighborhoods surrounding the packhouse because as a baby nothing but the gentle hum of being in a car could put me to sleep at night. One of them would drive while the other sat in the back with me reading soft stories over the edges of ny car seat... The stories had always left me feeling an odd combination of warm and hollow... But even still... Every time I fell ill or had nightmares... Grammy and Grampa would lead me into the back of their old Lincoln and drive me around, Grampa at the wheel so Grammy could rub my back and mumble the words of my favorite childhood books, the words memorized from endless recitation.

Even as an adult, absolutely without question... The calm hum of an engine and the gentle sway of the cab still soothes me in a way I can't quite explain. It makes me feel a little more grounded... A little more safe.

I can relax enough to say, "Daddy, I'm sorry."

...
Silas
...

"What? Why are you sorry?" I keep an eye on my angel via keeping the calm blanket of my mind draped over his heavy shoulders as he stares out the windows as we make our way towards town... Towards all of the social interaction that I find exhausting and would rather avoid entirely if at all possible.

"I'm not normally so emotional... Well... I am.. But I can normally keep myself in check a bit better than I have been... I promise I'm not normally so sensitive or clingy..." His answer makes my grip on the wheel turn white-knuckled and strained.

"You don't need to apologize, Beautiful. A lot's happened in the last few days." Finding each other... Moving in with me... His first motorcycle ride and his time being touched and making love... He had plenty of things to be emotional over, each one of them a coin tossed into the treasure trove that are his reasons for feeling so overwhelmed, "And I happen to like the clinginess, by the way. You don't even need to worry about me wanting space."  Not if I could be up to his ass sideways half the time and listening to his sweet giggles the other half... 

I want my sweetheart just as stuck on me as I am on him. I drive home my statement by taking one hand off the wheel in order to hold his hand where it rests on his lap, his slender fingers giving me a squeeze.

"Will you tell me if you ever do mind? Like if it's too much, or if you get tired of me sometimes it's okay to tell me..." His voice is sad as he tries to angle his body away from him... That odd guilt flooding him again. His Grandmother's needless overcorrection of his behavior had left my beautiful boy petrified of making a mistake or stepping on my toes and it only serves to cement my current dislike for the old woman even more.

"I won't ever get tired of you, Princess. You're mine and I'm yours and you're just going to have to deal with that. When you feel overwhelmed you let me know and we'll work through it together." The order is sincere and absolutely heartfelt as I squeeze his hand back before pulling away only to be able to turn the wheel and guide the car into Mrs.Henderson's neighborhood, her obnoxiously manicured lawn scrolling into view as I take the two quick turns that put us on the right street and a lump in the pit of my stomach.

Today is going to be a long day, but at least my beautiful boy will have time to get it through his pretty head that there is nothing in this world that could ever make me grow tired of him. That I would and always will love him no matter if he can control his sensitive mood swings or if his current level of clinginess never fades...

He's stuck with me and he needs to get used to it.