Book Smart

101

Finding our way back to the back yard is easier than expected, Daddy leading the way, his head constantly turning back to make sure that I'm right by his side where I belong.

The run had been unexpectedly cathartic, and it makes me wonder if maybe the reason I never enjoyed the activity before is that I was forcing myself to run with the wrong people. That with the right person a run can actually be fun and lighthearted.

Or... At least with Silas, it can be.

There is just something about this beautiful man who's attached himself to my very soul that rubs me raw in all the right ways and at the same time makes me feel so absolutely at peace with myself. 

I had gotten his hopes up and let him down today, and instead of being mad at me or asking me to stay home while he worked through his frustration, he had made sure I felt wanted and refused to let me stay at home and sulk.

I know he doesn't see this afternoon in the same light that I do... That he doesn't hold it against me for maybe reading into my body's changes a bit too much instead of admitting that I've eaten more chocolate and Daddy's favorite breakfast in bed of pancakes in the last two weeks than I've ever been allowed to eat in my whole life...

...
Silas
...

I can feel the happiness that had built up during the run as it drains out of my sweet angel, his mood taking a turn for the worse as we slow to a stop in front of the back door, the two of us grunting as our bones shiver and shake themselves back into place, fur receding leaving us standing bare as the last rays of sunlight splash themselves over our delicate moment.

Strong feelings of self-consciousness wash over my Bean, my own body a barrier preventing him from slipping inside and out of sight.

It breaks my heart to watch his hands come up to cover his beautiful belly and soft bits from my gaze as he turns away from me, shyness consuming him as the sunset lights his skin up in the most breathtaking fashion.

My baby looks so golden, his inky black curls tumbling down around his shoulders, some of it getting tucked behind his ear as he turns to glance at me over his well-marked shoulder, but his words wound me to my very core, "D-Don't stare... I... Daddy... I'm so sorry-"

...
Adrian
...

I don't even hear his footsteps in the crisp grass Silas makes his way to me so quickly, the thick arms that make me feel so safe wrapping around me, turning me until I face him and then pulling me into an embrace so right I can hardly pull in a single breath before the lips that have caressed every inch of my body crash into my mouth with such fierce purpose that the tears I hadn't realized were threatening to fall break free and stream down my cheeks.

This kiss is not like the one we had shared before leaving the house to run... It's so much more intense... So full of the fiery passion that has been responsible for throwing me over cliff after cliff of almost unbearable pleasure.

By the time it's over Daddy's hand has a vice grip in the hair at the base of my skull, forcing my head back until I have no other choice but to look him directly in the face, his growls warning me not to even dare to try to close my eyes.

It's not painful, and it manages to get his point across.

Daddy has my full attention, and I'm listening carefully to the words that tumble down out of the mouth that had just accosted me in one of the most delightful ways possible as the hand that has my body plastered against his moves down until he can hoist me up, forcing my legs around his waist in his effort to pull me even closer, "You... Have Nothing to be sorry for, Princess. Nothing."

And yet for some reason, my mind keeps circling the drain and continues to focus on the fact that, "I'm not pregnant."

Another heated kiss is gifted to my lips, this one privy to spicy nips as the hand currently holding my bottom gives me a squeeze that makes my toes curl before he releases his grip on my hair, instead of using his hand to guide me to the mark I had given him, tucking me away and cradling me until I start to feel the warm tug of the safety he offers start to take root in my belly. He shivers when I curl my lips over the shallow imprint I had given him what seems like ages ago, and for a moment we just stand there, saying nothing as we marinade over the fact that we're even still talking about this... That it was even the topic we landed on today, to begin with... Oh, how things had gotten off track.

Today Daddy was supposed to actually get some of his paperwork done... Quinn and Casper were supposed to tie me down to the couch if they had to in order to allow Daddy the breathing room he doesn't really want so we can both learn how to function without me having a meltdown the moment he's out of eyeshot... Not that my anxiety is the sole reason for the tough love my friends had meant to dole out... Daddy can never seem to completely focus on his duties when I'm in the room but I can never be away from him long enough to let him get it completely finished... And instead, I distracted everyone with a false alarm and our friends have gone home already... The only thing I've accomplished for us today is patch things up with a Grammy and come to the conclusion that I need to eat healthier snacks if I'm going to munch while reading.

Light kisses start to rain down on the side of my face and my ear as Daddy's now free hand travels to my bottom to join his other, adjusting me for optimal support and comfort before he starts to head inside with me still in his arms, not stopping when his feet hit the plush carpeting of the living room...  Not until we end up in the bathroom... A good thing since somehow I ended up getting even dirtier than he is, "You could be, Sweet Pea. And if not you will be soon. Only four more weeks until you go into heat."

...
Silas
...

My Princess says nothing as I set him on the counter of the bathroom sink, his flawless skin smudged with dirt, and an orange leaf or two making themselves visible in his hair with all the movement, his eyes tracking me as I start the water running in the shower.

It doesn't seem to matter what lighting my beautiful Addy is in... With his eyes all misty feeling so bashful that his cheeks hurt with how flushed he's become he's beautiful... Like one of the paintings of the sad angels with oversized eyes. A porcelain doll that I can't seem to keep my hands off of.

It's alright though... Because I know that at this moment he doesn't want me to stop touching him... He needs the reassurance that only comes with the feel of his Daddy's hands all over him, even if it's not in a sexual way. He needs the extra soft touches that come will come with me pulling my gentle one off the counter and into my arms after checking the temperature of the water one last time before coaxing him into the stall with me, encouraging him to relax in my arms for a moment while the two of us let the water soak us through and warm us up while it washes away the final memory of the pregnancy test still sitting on the back of the toilet tank, neither one of us wanting to acknowledge it just yet.