WHAT IF

T W E N T Y | S I X

Camila's POV
  
  
    
I took a deep breath after I made it outside of Y/n's apartment building and lean my back on the thick wall beside me while I slowly lowered my head down when my tears started to blurred my eyesight again.

Fuck, Camila. Get your shit together... You can't cause any scene in this place. I mentally told myself firmly after I quickly wiped my tears that's about to escape in my eyes and cleared my throat.

I tilted my head back up and saw some of the people around who's walking in front of me and passing me, glanced at me weirdly but ignore them as I look for a cab in the streets.

Walking further onto the sideway, I caught a glimpse of unoccupied cab driving down at the other side of the road and I quickly raised my arm while staring at it, trying to get it's driver's attention then saw it's vehicle slowly took a stop at the side after the driver saw me. I took a deep breath before crossing the street with a bunch of people around me before walking towards the vehicle as I open the car door and entered.

I felt the car slowly move after I shut the door closed and slightly rolled down the window shield beside me. Cold breeze of air are hitting my face as I stare at the view outside and suddenly remember the first I landed my eyes at her.

To the day I asked her if she wanted to be mine... to the time where we're both so in love with each other until Paul came and confuses my feelings towards her... to the night I felt lust with the wrong person and give him my all without hesitation... to the party where I saw her kissing somebody else that's not me because she was drugged... and to the day I ended everything with her without knowing it'll be the last time I'll see her if fate didn't let us saw each other in that coffee shop.

God, I'm such a horrible person...

"miss, is everything alright?" I heard the middle age man asked me as I saw him glance at me in the rear view mirror.

I sniff, "yes, of course" my voice are hoarse due to the silent crying that I'm doing and just notice it now.

Feeling my wet cold cheeks, I quickly wipe my fresh tears away as I try to avoid the driver's gaze in the mirror.

"uh where should I drop you off miss?" he politely asked after a few minutes, getting my full attention since I remembered, I haven't told him the girls and I's apartment address. Stupid.

"right, sorry" I genuinely apologise before finally telling him the address where I wanted him to drop me off.

After a few minutes that felt like hours, we finally arrived in front the apartment building where the girls and I are temporarily living since the concert in here is getting really near and the venue is just a few blocks away from this building which is quite a good thing for us. Our manager doesn't actually agree on this thing but he doesn't have any choice because we are all sick living in our tour bus and we all want a small chance somehow.

I paid the driver more than what I really intended to give but I don't mind actually so I insist on taking my change back before I started heading towards the front door after I gave him a small smile for a respond of his "thank you".

Opening the huge door, I help myself inside and immediately go towards the elevator without glancing around me. I pressed the button and patiently waited for it's metal door to open.

I feel like I'm so tired even though I know I didn't do much today... Maybe it's because of the talk Matt and I had. I feel like a shitty person breaking up with her even though I didn't know what really happened that night... Now,  thinking back to that night I had with Paul...

"fuck..." I whispered as I briefly closed my eyes and lean my forehead to the wall in front of me. I probably looked so stupid right now but I don't care.