Will Of A Deity

42| Nothing

18:00
Claude Manor
Selene Rosefield

When I came back inside the manor, it was almost time for the celebration. I couldn't find time to look for Hyron so I just thought that I could apologize to him after the party. When I came to my senses, I realized that I shouldn't have said those words to him. He was only concerned about me because I am his guest. I shouldn't doubt his motives so easily like that. Afterall, he never tried to do anything I dislike and have always been understanding of me. Yeah, I really fucked up.

I'll sincerely apologize to him and maybe also finally give him a piece of my mind. I'll tell him that I can only be friends with him. I can't fall in love with him. Hyron is a good person and all I ever do to him is get mad at him. And I know why I do that.

I'm not alright.

I have scars in my past that keeps swelling up every now and then. I'm still not at peace. How can I expect to feel love and give love when I can't even do it to myself? I will only continue to hurt him. And I don't want to do that to him.

Tiningnan ko ang sarili ko sa salamin sa huling pagkakataon. Simple lang ang naging ayos ko ngayong gabi. Mas gugustuhin kong di makatanggap ng atensyon ngayong gabi. Nararamdaman kong may di magandang mangyayari, mas maganda ng handa ako.

"You're quite familiar, young lady. Have we met before?"

Napahawak ako sa lamesa ng maramdaman ko ang panlalambot ng mga tuhod ko. Our long time reunion this afternoon is still vivid to me. Even though my senses were killing me, I could still remember how he looked at me back at the greenhouse. The hint of recognition in his face when he saw me. I'm hiding my real hair and eyes but he still manage to recognize me.

Bukod dito, malakas ang kutob ko na may kinalaman siya sa mga nangyayari. I didn't even know that he's still alive. It's been 1,091 years. I've been hiding from him for 1,091 years. In those years, I hoped for his death. He is human afterall. But years have passed. I thought Queen just chose to not tell me if he ever dies. But as it turn out, he's still alive. How? I don't know and I don't wanna know.

Dark Arts

He could be the reason for my mission in this manor. After all that I've went through because of him, there's no doubt he's the perpetrator I'm looking for. I need to stop him at all cost. But...

Can I face him? I'm still haunted by his deeds. No! I need to do this. I can't continue running away from my past like this. I'm no longer that 9 year old kid who ran away from home barefoot and bruised. I've gotten stronger now physically. I'm even smarter. What's the point of me getting stronger if I can't even protect the people around me? If he's really up to something, I'm not going to run away to save myself. I'm scared but I have someone I need to protect now. I have to be brave.

Ring! Ring!

My thoughts were interrupted by the ringtone of my phone.

Ace calling...

I pick up the call.

"Hel-----"

Come home, Selene. You need to come back here. Abort the mission. I don't know what the fuck is going on in that old man's head but you need to listen to me. I saw the guestlist, your fa------"

"I know, Ace." I cut him off. "We already met." Ilang segundo siyang natahimik.

Then, I'll arrange for your return immediately. Don't worry, I'll tell Queen what happened. She'll understand.