The Lost Morningstar

🌷Chapter 33🌷

♡Salem POV♡

Lucifer returned shortly from his visit to Axel and I feel like shit for not going but I couldn't face seeing him in pain especially when I'm responsible for Troye's death, if I hadn't resurrect  my mother then Troye would've been alive and all of this would've been avoided.

Lucifer told me about Axel's breakdown and how he's worried how Alexi will handle this which I could only imagine. It must be hard breaking news to your about losing a loved one, I know I went severely  deranged when Lucifer was supposively 'killed' so I can fathom how distraught Axel must feel.

The guilt inside me is just eating me up because once the truth is out on who Siegfried is and the more I delay it then it'll look very suspicious on my part for sure, people will spread rumours I'm involved and I risk losing it all.

Times like this I wish I had someone to talk to and then I remember I do.

"Inner Salem come in...I need your help please." I call out to my supreme as Lucifer's arm snake around my waist tugging me into his chest.

"You're living in my head rent free and all this guilt is growing to the point where I can't hands it, Troye didn't derseve to die and once they find out the lady in red is my mother then I'm in deep shit."

"If you didn't resurrect Cersei then you'd be dead and Asmodeus would be a prisoner and even more people would die." My supreme says knocking some senses into me. "I know it's hard right now but you cannot allow guilt to eat you up because things couidvd been worse and as unfortunate as it seems...this way was better."

"I just...don't think I can keep this a secret from much longer." I want to Lucifer and not hide secrets but I know this one could end our relationship if I'm not careful.

"Keep the secret for now until you get more information about your parents past because something is off with that, once you found out the past then tell Lucifer and Salem he won't leave you."

"And how can you be so sure? I'm the one who always complains about being honest and no hiding secrets yet here I am lying." I don't like breaking promises or vows and I feel like I am. Lucifer and I have been through turmoil with our relationship from cheating to keeping secrets and much more yet at the end of the day we still moved passed that but this time I dunno if we can. "What if I break the news and that's the final straw that breaks the camel's back? I can't risk that."

"Take this one day at a time. Our enemies are healing as are we so that gives us days or weeks to tell the truth regardless if we find new information, it'll clear your mind and help you feel better overall and as for Lucifer leaving you how many times do I have to jam it in your head that it won't happen? He loves you more then anything and yes the reveal might hurt but why would he judge you based on your father's actions? Makes no sense so enjoy his comfort now and sort out the funeral then when things settle try talking. Remember communication is key for a long lasting relationship. Period." The inner voice leaves me alone again as I go over the positive ways to speak out about this even if it hurts too.