Things Change

Chapter 43

| "We must all suffer one of two things: the pain of discipline or the pain of regret or disappointment."

-Jim Rohn |

No POV

Draco resisted the urge to pummel Hermione with answers - at least the ones he could give - he didn't want to lie to her. If they could maybe be friends, after all of this was over, he would feel a lot better about himself. That was his last hope, to become civil.

Hermione slowed down, so they were moving at a slow pace, she was in no hurry to watch the quidditch match, and Draco wasn't either, he'd rather explain things to Hermione.

As they neared the staircase, Hermione looked over at Draco. He had his hands in his pockets and he was looking down at his feet. Just from the last time Hermione had really looked at him, he was different. His normally gray eyes were almost black, like a corpse, and his face was sunken in, overall he looked awful.

"There's just one thing I don't understand," she said curiously.

"What would that be?" Draco asked without looking at her.

Hermione looked away from him too. "It's just that, well, you're the one who broke up with me."

Draco stopped for a moment causing Hermione to look over at him until he started walking again. "And," he said quietly, beginning to regret where this might lead.

"So, it doesn't make sense why you're doing this," she said waving her hands. "Trying to be nice and all..." A small frown appeared on her face.

Draco looked over at her out of the corner of his eye. An awkward silence surrounded them as Draco shoved his hands deeper into his pockets, not really knowing what to see. So for a moment, he thought instead. He thought back to years past, the old cheerful Hermione. In the beginning, he remembered watching her, just this little bundle of life, but that was soon gone. Her innocence was taken away, and she soon became a serious girl, doing unbelievable things at 16. She was forced to grow up too fast. In fact, they all were. Even Draco, just in a different way.

"Just because I... broke up with you," Draco hesitated, "doesn't mean that I hate you or something. I wasn't trying to ruin you life," he almost whispered, "if that's what you thought. And, er, I guess what I'm saying is that I'm sorry, okay?"

Hermione was so very confused. "Sorry?" she blurted out, and realized that it sounded rude. "Er, what I mean is," she started, "that I just don't get it. Why would you jave done it if you, uh,  'didn't want to hurt me'?"

Things were becoming very awkward. After all, they were two people, who recently broke up, calmly discussing matters like it was a everyday thing.

Hermione turned her head to look the other way, afraid that Draco would see the sadness bubbling on her face.

Draco let out an exasperated sigh, and ran a hand through his hair, only to shove it back into his pockets.

By now, they had just walked out of the doors that had been left open. The wind blew Hermione's hair around made it's way to their bones. Hermione shivered as she pulled her cloak tighter, Draco didn't seem affected.

"Have you ever thought that maybe," he tried telling her that it wasn't for him but her, too, but couldn't find his voice to do so. Instead, he suddenly found the ground very interesting.

Hermione did also as she asked him, "Thought what?"

Draco suddenly wanted to take back what he had said. If she knew that Draco still ha feelings for her, it would make it that much harder to face her. He thought of something else.