COLLISION ➳ JACK GILINSKY

Chapter Thirty-Five

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"Are you and Jack still together?"

 

"Why aren't Jack and Jack on tour with you anymore?"

 

"Was the long distance relationship too hard?"

 

"Did Jack cheat on you?"

 

The paps kept shouting questions at me, as I walked out of the airport and towards a car that's waiting for me.

 

Frankly, I was getting annoyed, and just wanted to shout at them to leave me alone, or at least shove them like they kept on shoving me. But if I had learned anything from Stacey and Annie on how to act in front of people's eyes, doing any of that to the paps was one of the top rules, other than not being rude to fans and not doing anything that will ruin the image of the duo.

 

The uproar of questions and mics and camera being shoved in my face and getting mobbed by crowds, wasn't even the thing that bothered me the most. What was really digging into my skin was the fact I was just as clueless to those questions as they were. I was nowhere close to answering the questions, because I simply didn't know.

 

I didn't know if Jack and I were still together or not, and it was my decision to continue with our relationship. That was another thing that bothered me. I knew I had to end it or forgive him, but I wasn't ready to do any of that.

 

The thought of breaking up with him, terrifies me, to say the least. I don't know what I'd do without him. He makes me happy like no one has before. I was just about to give up on love until he came into my life and changed everything. What I had known about love, which was heartbreak and full of lies, wasn't necessarily true, and he showed me that. He showed me that love can be a beautiful thing, full of sweet kisses, comfy cuddle sessions, and an amazing feeling like not other.

 

I can't even describe the feeling I get whenever I'm around him, with his head on my lap, or my head on his shoulder, or his arms wrapped tightly around me, or his hands playing with my hair, or comparing our hands, or his fingers going up and down my arm, because it's too many emotions, good emotions, to put into words.

 

I like how I feel around him. Secure of myself, because he'll always cheer me up with his eyebrow dance or lame jokes. He'll rub circles into my hands whenever he senses that I'm scared or nervous.

 

But at the same time, I wasn't ready to forgive him. I wasn’t ready to look him in the eye, and tell him that I could look past what he did, because I couldn’t right now. I couldn’t look at him and think that maybe he’s lying, that whatever he’s doing, I won’t approve of, yet  again. I couldn’t look at him, and not worry that the monster was lurking around somewhere. I couldn’t look at him and not see the dark in his eyes. The fright of loving another Michael was just the one factor that could push our relationship over the edge. But the fact that I haven’t broken up with him yet confirmed my fear.