Kiribaku One Shots (and maybe some other ships)

Another Kiribaku but like... funny angst???!?

Heh...
I'm giving Kiri a personality like mine, wacKy but like, it's to make it less sad...

So basically (ah fuvk... I can't believe you've done this),  instead of making it sad as freak, it's gonna be a somewhat funny????? Angst????? I don't even know what I'm talking about at this point.  So unless y'all want to cry, let me give him my personality. Haha you can't stop me anyway.
iS thAt a PoliCe??? im cAlliNg the WeeD. '420 watcha smokin?'
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(They've been dating for like...2 years and haven't said I love you yet... They be waiting)
Shark boi man POV
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oh god what have I done?
So uhm... Oops. Guess I got a little too caught up in the activity I was currently participating in. I say that as if I'm doing something even remotely okay. Ha. I'm not. It's actually quite bad. Last time I did it, it wasn't as bad as it is now. Not even close. But Katsuki said, and I quote, "If I see one extra cut on your arm, that has nothing to do with training, I will force you to stay with me in my dorm."

.....That means having to go by his schedule. He goes to bed at... What... 8:30? I go to bed at like...3 am because sometimes I get sad and cry my heart out for a couple hours until I fall asleep. Yeaaaa... Awkward. But sometimes I really debate going over to his dorm and ask him if I can stay for a few nights just so I can sleep next to him.

I know he wouldn't say no, hes my boyfriend after all, but I don't wanna be a bother to anyone. Lmao sadness 😂. Anyway. Back to the topic.

"Crap oh heck".... I said that out loud. I did NOT mean to do that. oh big heck. I sound casual and stuff but in reality I'm freaking the heck out. Bruh. I guess I cut myself a few too many times. By a few I mean...let's see uhmmm...*counts* 30? Extra times? Yes that seems right. Haha. Guess I deserved it that much that my body just kept going.

wait.

Ohh heck oh heck oh heck oh heck. FrICKKKK. Kats gonna see this and I'm gonna be a goner. Unless he doesn't see??? Yea I'm such funny. He'll definitely see that. If he doesn't he'll see right through me and force me to show him. ahHhhh.

Crap now I'm crying. Dang it. He's right next door. He's definitely gonna hear something. I don't think I've made any noise yet soo. Hmmm. Whatever. Grrr. Okay okay. This is fine. I'll just clean it up and wear makeup on my arms. Yea. That's not gonna freaking work. God I'm so stupid.

As if on queue, Kat texts me.

Suki 🧡: Okay, I know you're crying. I know exactly what you've done to yourself Ei. I don't know how many, but just know I'm not disappointed in you. I know you've been a bit sad recently, but you can talk to me about it whenever you feel it's right. Pack an overnight bag and come over. I won't get mad or upset.
sent 7:47 pm

Heck heck heck hEcKkK. You know what he said it's fine so it can't be bad right?? Right??!?!? I then get another text.

Suki 🧡: Don't overthink this Ei. Trust me. If you're not here in the next 5 minutes, I'm going over there.
sent 7:50pm

Stupid boyfriend instincts. How does he do that??? Whatever, he's my boyfriend, I gotta listen to him man. Even if I don't say it, I love him. I just hope he actually loves me back...
(The voice in his head is Chad because Chad, if ur name is chad I'm sure ur nice but like......Chad ...ya know, it makes sense)
Chad: He doesn't love you idiot. You're too gross and stupid for him.

Bruh... Chad.... Take a chill man....maybe he do actually love me. I mean, we are dating so why wouldn't he...

Chad: Why would he? You're ugly as hell and don't deserve anything. He's dating you out of pity.