Wrong Love | taekook✔️

8: Guilt

Both mansion same scenario [Taehyung, Jin, Jimin/ Jungkook, Namjoon, Yoongi]

Namjoon and Jin started explaining the younger.

"See... I know him before I knew you. He was with me from childhood; we use to spend lots of time together. But then to support you I had to leave him and come to you. I wanted to become stronger to return to him and to be honest; being with you was a great opportunity for me to get big. Last year when I went to Rome for a deal I accidentally met him. I'd been dating him since last year and two months ago we decided to get together in marriage. I wanted to tell you, but waiting for the right time. I thought that if this deal will get successful, we can finally convince you both and think of an alliance. But this turned out to be something horrible. Tell me Taehyung/Jungkook what were you planning to do that there was a war-like situation?"

The certain question by the older shifted the point, the younger didn't want to share the betrayal they were planning. The weird feeling they wanted to remove made them say.

"Don't try to walk away by putting a question on me, Hyung. A year? Two months of engagement? Behind my back? Are you kidding me? That's too much? How could you do this? I not at all accept this Hyung! That's the gang attack us! You thought I would alliance with that JK/V guy for the love tale you've been doing confidently?"

The third peron present there, jimin/suga, were confused, and frustrated.
"And you said you want to stay in the store room because you were angry at my sudden leave from that 'great going meeting'!" jimin (not suga) blurred in between, showing off his frustration.

The older shook his head, this was not going good, they don't want an argument to ruin everything more.

"This is what we were scared of! Your rejection. We thought of running off, but I can't tell you go away who I looked over a long time. Kid I love him. I thought you'll understand as you know how it feels when you truly love someone. No one can overtake that feeling, even if you know that you can't have that person and you never will, but you still love.
You weren't able to have your love ...let me have mine" Those softly spoken words from the elder made the younger look at them even with more shock....

He just can't talk about it like that.

Taehyung POV

The topic that hyung disturbed was not a good thing. I know he did this to convince me, to make me understand but he can't overstep the boundaries, my boundaries which I've been protecting from a long time. I let the two closest person,, jimin and Jin hyung, glace over it from far that doesn't mean he can talk about it. He doesn't know how much pain in those sweet memories matters to me, it messes me up.

I wasn't in a state to say anything, my eyes felt to sting. My both hyungs called me but I stood up and quietly walked upstairs to my room.

But that place is more foreign to me, I can't let out my emotions there, I'll not able to.

I opened the door of the dark room in which my belongings are kept.

I walked straight to the bathroom. I opened its light and started to take off my clothes,

maybe a shower would help me to ease down.

As my head popped out of the t-shirt, the long mirror in front of me reflected my body. My eyes didn't scan myself, but they were stuck on my collar bone. Staring the ring which I wear as a necklace.

It's always there. In every second of my life, who doesn't ask for conditions, promises, permissions, it's just there with me. I see this everyday when I strip or it gets out from the hides of my cloths. But today, now, it's more noticeable to me, maybe because hyung brought up my love topic, the love which only gave me pains, which hurt me, made me cry, made me run for my life here and there.

I can't totally blame the love thing either, they were my choice, my decisions, my steps which I took, but I blame love because I can't blame myself, I'm done hating me, I'm done with getting scared of being killed,
of killing, of feeling myself as a monster, a selfish one, a hopeless one.

I turned off the light so that I can't see it anymore; I took a warm shower in darkness and walked out. Getting on the bed with my sleep wear on me, inside my cozy blankets.

Everything around, looked calm, but my mind wasn't, it was filled with hundreds of thoughts. I think the night will pass without any sleep and I would be able to tell my answer to Jin hyung this morning.

Jungkook POV

"This is what we were scared of! Your rejection. We thought of running off, but I can't tell you go away who I looked over a long time. Kid I love him. I thought you'll understand as you know how it feels when you truly love someone. No one can overtake that feeling, even if you know that you can't have that person and you never will but you still love.You weren't able to have your love ...let me have mine " Those softly spoken words from the elder made me look at them even with more shock.... He just can't talk about it like that.

Guilt

It's the emotion I should to feel, but anger over took me. I slammed my hand on the front table.

"Wrong move" Yoongi hyung sighed at other hyung.

"Jungkook I know you hate this, but you had to leave everything, it hurts you, it makes you feel like dying" Namjoon hyung said, and that made me want to rip everything apart,

"I--" hyung continued. "I don't want to feel that, I can't, I will not able to. Decide it Jungkook, I don't want to live a dead life"

Stop!

"I love him, and you can't stop my feelings, your wounds must've healed,"

It hurts

"but I'll not able to bare them, understand me"

Stop please

...

And then no voice came

Hyung looked at me with hope in his eyes. Still keeping his strong posture, but I know inside, he is not good, "I'll think about it" I said and walked off towards my room in that lavish manor of ours.

Hyung talked about the things I left behind, which I had to, which make me hate myself.

I fell on my bed, face first. My mind filled with unwanted thoughts, hyung knows me well, he's sympathetic towards me, but not empathetic, he doesn't know my emotions my feelings and he'll never know.

The person who would understand me doesn't know I still exist, have a family now, doesn't feel the way I do, right?

I took my shirt off as I always sleep topless, and covered myself with the sheets. My hand trailed at lift side ribs, an old burned mark there, and  the tattoo over it, which I had on my 18th birthday was a memory of that long haired, doll type small creature, who one filled colors to my younger self.

I know the situation hyung is going though and its better to hold it before it get out of reach and then hurt. I still have to think about it. I think the night will be awake with me and moon will help me think.

Author POV

Both mansion same scenario [Taehyung, Jin, Jimin/ Jungkook, Namjoon, Yoongi]

The dining table felt dead as everyone was eating in silence. It's rare for them to be present and have breakfast together as they are mostly busy and when they are together the dining room feels like a fish market. But today, although everyone was present, no one dared to utter anything.

The youngest slurp the soup and then cleared his throat

"um- Hyung,"

The two other stoped eating and lift their faces, Jin/Namjoon felt a certain vibration through him, shivers. Inside his mind he chanted for everything to be good.

Younger sighed and meet his eyes with the older

Taehyung/ Jungkook continued

"I accept you and that guy from that whatever gang"

and his hyung chocked on his own saliva.