inevitable | sooshu

silence | shuhua

I was practicing for our new comeback, when the five remaining members of idle walked into the practice room. I tapped on Yuqi's shoulder, but she ignored me. "Miyeon! Do you want to practice with me?" I called out, but she ignored me as well. I shouted, kicked, screamed, but no one heard me. I realized that I was trapped in this cage; they couldn't see me, hear me, or care about me.

The scene changed, and I wasn't in the cage anymore. I took a deep breathe, relieved that I was free from that boundary. Instead, we were all in the dorm. I went downstairs, only to find all of my stuff in a suitcase. "What's happening?" I asked Soyeon, as she stood right next to me. "We don't want you here anymore." Soyeon spat. "We never did." Miyeon added. My eyes started to tear, and I felt my cold tears run down my cheeks. "You don't mean this! Please!" I begged. Yuqi, Minnie, and Soojin came into my peripheral view. "You're worthless." Minnie said, a look of disgust in her face. Yuqi slapped me across the face, kicking me onto the ground. "I can't believe I was ever considered your bestfriend." She sighed. Lastly, Soojin looked me dead into my eyes. "I never loved you and I never will. You're disgusting."

"No!" I shouted, panting.  I woke up in my room, everything was normal. "It was a nightmare, thank god." I thought, but in the back of my mind, I secretly knew that wasn't just as simple as a nightmare. Yuqi and Soojin ran into my room, with their hair disheveled, and their dark eyes. "We heard you screaming, is everything alright?" Soojin asked, sitting on my bed next to me, and reaching for my hand. I couldn't look her in the eyes, not after what I had just dreamed about. "It's just a nightmare." I whispered, as her hold on my hand weakened. "Do you mind if I go to sleep? I'm awfully tired." Soojin asked, clearly sleepy. "Go back to bed. You shouldn't have woken up for me." I responded, to which Soojin just gave me a smile and left for bed.

Yuqi didn't budge however. I was confused, why didn't she go back with Soojin? "I don't believe you, you know." She said, earning a murmur from myself. "What are you talking about?" I said back, slightly confused as to what she was talking about. "Shu, you're the first friend I've ever had when I came to Korea. You were there for me when I first came here, when I couldn't quite speak Korean yet, and you comforted me in mandarin. So don't think that I'm oblivious to when you're actually not ok." Yuqi whispered, causing tears to fall in my eyes.

"I had a nightmare, a bad one." I started in mandarin, to which she nodded her head, a sign for me to continue. "You guys couldn't hear me or see me. I felt so alone. The scene changed, and I was back in our dorm. I heard banging downstairs, so I walked down the steps, to see everyone surrounding me, and all of my things packed into a suitcase. You all kicked me out of the dorm; told me that I wasn't needed here." I managed to get out, trying to stop the tears rolling down my eyes. Yuqi extended her hand to my cheek, using her finger to wipe the tears of my cheek. "We love you here. Don't ever think that we don't." Yuqi said, but somehow I didn't believe it.

"Thank you, Yuqi." I whispered sincerely. "Anytime. Now let's get to bed. I'm tired!" Yuqi joked. We both laid down in my bed, one with a full heart, and one with everlasting emptiness.