inevitable | sooshu

is it too late?

The idle dorm was quiet, for the first time. It felt isolated without Shuhua; she was their sun. She was the only one who would be crazy enough to make them feel better. She would comfort Yuqi in mandarin when she was upset, she would practice piano with Soyeon to make her feel better, she would play Mario Kart with Miyeon until the girl was no longer sad, she would help Minnie make pancakes when she wasn't feeling well, and she would always provide a shoulder to lean on for Soojin.

Soojin. The girl hadn't slept in days, her brain wouldn't shut off. She felt so conflicted with her feelings, she knew that she couldn't be with Hui after this. Not after her friends already hated him, not after he assaulted Soojin's sun. "Shuhua." Soojin sighed. She didn't know what she was feeling. She wasn't angry, or mad, or sad. The revelation didn't bother her. Instead, the deepest part of her enjoyed it. She just wouldn't admit that to herself yet.

Soojin wasn't the only one who was shaken by this. Yuqi had lost her best friend, the only person who had been there for her for so many years. She knew she was safe with Tzuyu, but she missed the girl so much that it hurt. She would wake up, and hope that it was all a dream, and that Shuhua would be there to annoy her again. But it wasn't. It wasn't a dream; Shuhua had been gone for almost a week, and for the first time ever, Yuqi was worried that she wouldn't come back.

Shuhua woke up in an unfamiliar room. "Where am I?" She thought. Tzuyu walked into the room, and handed her some tea. "I'm guessing we have some catching up to do, eh?" Tzuyu teased. Shuhua just rolled her eyes, but it was enough to bring a small smile to the girl's face.

Tzuyu led Shuhua to the living room. The place was pretty big, probably cause it stored 9 chaotic girls. "Where are the rest of your friends?" Shuhua asked, to which Tzuyu just hummed. "Jihyo needed to go grocery shopping, and the rest of them can't sit still." Tzuyu laughed. "Now, do you mind telling me what happened? Yuqi called me, but never spared me the details." Tzuyu asked, laughing half way through.

And so, Shuhua told her. She told her how she fell head over heels for Soojin, how she passed out and went to the hospital because Soojin told her about her boyfriend, how Hui assaulted her, how he outed her completely in front of Soojin and the rest of members, how she walked out, and how she felt so emotionally numb; but that she was alright with it if it meant that Soojin was happy.

Tzuyu didn't laugh, she didn't console her either. All she did was sit in silence for a moment. After all, she knew exactly how the girl was feeling. Shuhua could tell that Tzuyu was trying to formulate a sentence before she spoke; that's just how the girl was. "You want to feel, but you can't. When you punch a hole in the wall, you want to convince yourself that you can still feel. But the pain never comes. In that moment, you realize that you aren't feeling anything. You're numb." Tzuyu said. Shuhua's eyes widened; the other girl knew exactly how she was feeling.

"H-How?" Shuhua sat there, bewildered. "The same thing happened to me. It hurts when you fall in love with someone you're not supposed to love." Tzuyu added; she knew Shuhua wanted to hear her story now. The two had never been as close as this, they never had a reason to be, but when Yuqi calls crying, and asking for a favor, Tzuyu had no choice but to comply.

"I fell in love with Sana. Hell, it was inevitable. The girl is the biggest flirt on this planet. However, it began to hurt me. Sana didn't know I loved her; I never told her. I was so afraid of what she might think, of what my friends might think. I figured that hiding it all would fix the problem. I resorted to a journal, which was my ultimate downfall." Tzuyu started, and Shuhua nodded her head for her to continue.

"Sana found the journal. She didn't react well at all, and so I left for a while. Luckily, we were sent back to Taiwan for the holidays during that time, so I didn't have to see her for a while. It hurt so much, though. So much that I felt numb, kind of like I lost all sorts of my emotions. Almost as if they never existed in the first place. So, I get what you're going though, Shuhua. I know how much it hurts." Tzuyu finished.

Shuhua had questions, but she felt rude asking them. Before she could stop them, one slipped out of her mouth. "What are you and Sana now?" Shuhua asked, covering her mouth directly after. Tzuyu just chuckled. She felt like she was three years older than the girl when she was only a couple of months older in reality.

"She's my girlfriend." Tzuyu smiled; Shuhua stilled. She wasn't expecting that. "How?" Shuhua's eyes widened. "She needed time to realize she felt the same way about me. Trust me, Shu. Everything will sort itself out. You can't lose hope before you even get there." Tzuyu patted Shuhua on the back.

Arguing could be heard down the hall. It only meant one thing: the girls were home. "Well, I guess it's time for you to meet the rest of the members!" Tzuyu cheered. Shuhua sighed, this would be one long day.