Getting Away with Gluttony

Kabanata 18

Ginabi ng uwi si kuya noon mula sa school niya. Napagtripan siya ng mga lalaking nakatambay malapit sa boarding house ng kaklase nila kung saan sila gumawa ng school project.

It turned out, those bastards are high on drugs. Nanlaban si kuya and before some people could rescue him, he died on the spot.

Pumikit ako nang mariin para supilin ang munting luha na namumuo sa gilid ng mga mata ko. Ang nakakalungkot lang at nakakasama ng loob ay hindi nakulong ang mga gumawa no'n sa kanya.

Nobody dares to testify dahil sa takot. Ayaw nilang madamay. Walang nagawa ang pera ng parents ko para mabigyan ng justice ang kamatayan ni kuya. Naramdaman ko ang pagdantay ng mainit niyang palad sa likod ko. Softly tapping, assuring me it's all over.

"How did you cope up?
Mahina niyang tanong. I looked up at him. His eyes were all over me. His face is just inches away from me. Kaya napayuko ulit ako.
Di ko expect yon, ah.

"Food. Kumakain ako 'pag feeling ko ang lungkot. But I never get along with anyone anymore. I prefer being alone since then."

"I can't imagine a small untalkative and aloof Shaza."
Napalabi ako sa sinabi niya. He sounds amused and teasing.

"I thought it was just a coincidence. So my life goes on as a quiet kid."
I continued my story.

"Until I met Rhea. She befriended me until we became best of friends."

Or so I thought. Because best friends don't lie. But she lied or she pretended a lot.

"You saw her in your vision too?" He asked. His voice laced with curiosity.

One time, while we were having our break in the school canteen, a scene flashed on me. It was Rhea, being slapped, and thrown against the wall. She had bruises all over. A man on her back is shouting at her and calling her names and lots of cursing. She was crying so hard.

Nanginginig ako habang ikwinekwento ko 'yon. The details were flashbacked. I tried hard not to cry. Pero may mga butil ng luha na nahulog na sa pisngi ko.

"What happened to her?" Mas lumapit siya sa akin, almost hugging me.

"I asked her. Many times. But she kept it herself. Until the news hit me hard. She died. Just like what I saw in my vision. She cut her wrist."

"Oh, God." He whispered.
"I'm sorry." This time I felt him hugging me for real. Kung naiba lang ang sitwasyon, pumapalakpak na ang taenga ko.

"She was battered. She's a domestic violence victim. But she never told anyone. Not even to me."

Tuluyan na akong napaiyak.
That happened when we were 15. Five years ago. Hindi kasing sakit noon. Pero masakit pa din.
He lifted my chin up so he could see my face. He wiped my tears away.

" I blamed myself for it. I regret not being so attentive to her. I failed to be her best friend. I could have done something to help her-"

"It wasn't your fault. Okay?" He said, assuring me.

"I know. But sometimes, kapag binabalikan ko iyon, di ko maiwasang mag-isip ng mga what ifs."

"How did you cope up that time?"

"Pagkain pa din."

"No wonder lumobo ka nang ganyan." He teased.