Red vs Blue (Male OC Insert)

Season 1 Chapter 15: How the Other Half Lives

EXT. SPIRIT WORLD - DULLED LANDSCAPE - DAY

Colors are dulled, almost monochromatic. GHOST is running up a barren hill, towards the camera, his form slightly translucent.

GHOST: (Echoing, his voice filled with a bitter resignation) Hello? Hello?! Is anyone out here?! Of course this is the way I go out... Helping two old friends and getting a sniper bullet through the fucking skull! After all I've been through, this is my reward?!

CHURCH: (His ghostly form materializes beside Ghost, rubbing his temples) Holy cow, would you stop yelling? My head's still ringing from that tank shell. I'm here. Right here.

GHOST: (Stops, looks at Church, a flicker of recognition) Hey, Church. So, I'm guessing this is the afterlife, huh? The great beyond? Not exactly what the brochures promised.

CHURCH: (Shrugs his spectral shoulders) Well, that's... kinda hard to explain. Uhm... You were shot in the head, buddy. So, here you are. Welcome to the club. Membership's... permanent.

GHOST: (Voice flat, irritated) Church, I'm not a fucking idiot. I know I'm dead. I felt the impact. What I'm asking is, what the fuck do we do now? Is this it? Just... this?

CHURCH: Honestly, you do nothing. You just walk around, reflect on your life, maybe complain a lot, and that's about it. Sometimes you see other dead people. It's pretty chill, actually, once you get used to the existential dread.

GHOST: (Sighs, runs a hand over his helmet) Well, this is fucking boring... I thought when I died I would be, like, 105, watching my kids and grandkids shooting alien fucks... maybe some humans. Not stuck in limbo with you.

CHURCH: (His ghostly form crosses its arms) How do you think I feel? I got shot by my own teammate in a fucking tank. A tank I was excited about! And then you guys blew it up again!

GHOST: (A rare, almost sympathetic tone) Yeah, that must be fucking painful. Getting blown up by your own side.

CHURCH: Yeah it was. The explosion hurt, and I didn't die on impact. I died a few seconds later. My body was in pain... every part of it hurt. It was like a really bad hangover mixed with a car crash.

GHOST: (A sudden thought) Yeah... Wait a minute. You were a Ghost, how the fuck did you get into the living world? I thought once you're dead, you're dead.

CHURCH: Honestly, I don't know. I just fade into existence and out. It just happens. It's not like I have a manual. Anyway, back to the tank. Yeah, that hurt. First I thought Caboose was going to save us, and then he killed me. The irony is not lost on me.

Suddenly, a faint, metallic hum. SHEILA'S ghostly form, still in her tank shell, rolls into view.

SHEILA: (Her calm, synthesized voice echoing) Target locked.

CHURCH: (Scoffs, waving a transparent hand at her) Oh, ha ha, very funny, Sheila. Shut up. You know I still haven't forgiven you for that. I didn't say you could talk to me yet. Go there and get, go, get, go for the base. Shoo, shoo! Go haunt the Reds!

Sheila's turret hangs slightly, as if in shame, and she slowly rolls off into the dulled distance.

GHOST: (Stares after her, then turns to Church, bewildered) Well, that's cold. Even for you. You just banished her.

CHURCH: (Shrugs) She's an AI. She doesn't have feelings. She's just code.

GHOST: (His helmet snaps towards Church, a flash of irritation) And they have feelings too, dumbass! You think they're just glorified calculators?! Hey, Sheila, wait up!

Ghost turns and walks quickly after Sheila, his ghostly form moving with purpose. He reaches her and gently places a translucent hand on her tank chassis, trying to comfort her.