Red vs Blue (Male OC Insert) [Being heavily overhauled]

Season 3 Episode 54: Hello My Name is Andrew

Fade in to Tex overlooking the Reds

Tex: See? They're down there, messing with the radio.

Church: Oh, so that's what they're doin'.

Tex: Yeah. They must be plotting something.

Church: Or, maybe they're just listening to the radio.

Tex: I know plotting when I see it. That's plotting.

Tucker: Maybe they're scheming.

Tex: No scheming looks different. That's definitely plotting. They're gonna try something.

Tucker: Why? I already told them Red and Blue are the same, it's all a conspiracy.

Church: And I told you that's not true. Vic just made it up to confuse us.

Tucker: That just means he's part of the conspiracy.

Church: But he's the one that told you Red and Blue are the same.

Tucker: Exactly.

Church: Wait are, are you talking about a conspiracy that Red and Blue are the same, or a conspiracy that Red and Blue are different?

Tucker: Exactly.

Church: You just keep saying exactly, do you have a theory or don't you?

Tex: Look, I don't care about Red, or Blue. All I know, is that those guys are up to something down there.

Tucker: Maybe they're planning to use the radio to beam secret messages to the fillings in my teeth.

Church: Secret messages about what!?

Tucker: Exactly.

Ghost: You guys are fucking idiots...

Caboose: They are probably trying to tune in to the distress signal they heard on the radio.

Church: What makes you say that?

Caboose: Oh, I know all the details. They were in their car, the Boss Hogg, when Simmin, heard a distress signal, on, the radio, and Gruff was in the back seat. With a monkey.

Tucker: Hmm, I'm gonna go out on a limb here and assume that some of that is wrong.

Ghost: No, pretty much all that's right except for one where Grif has a monkey on his back. What Caboose meant to say is he's monkeying around or about whatever you fucking say.

Church: How do you know all this?

Caboose: Andy told us.

Church: Andy, who's Andy? Are you, are you Andy?

Tucker: I'm not Andy, I'm Tucker.

Church: Not, I know, what's your first name?

Tucker: Lavernius.

Church: Lavernius, well then who's this Andy g- wait a second... are you black?

Tucker: Me?

Church: Yeah.

Tucker: Does it matter?

Church: No. I'm just curious.

Tucker: Well if it doesn't matter then why are you curious?

Church: I don't know, I guess that's just something I should have picked up on after all this time.

Tucker: You know what else you should have picked up on? My fucking first name!

Cut to the Reds, with Gruff Grif sitting in the Hogg

Distress Signal: Distress, distress, help, we don't need any more distress, distress, whoah man, it's a lot of distress.