Red vs Blue (Male OC Insert) [Being heavily overhauled]

Season 5 Episode 97: Uncommunicado

Fade in on the Blue standoff at Red Base

Church:    I am not O'Malley, I'm telling you, it's Flowers.

Tucker:    Liar, Flowers is dead.

Church:    Then what happened to the Reds, Tucker. Where did they go? I certainly didn't sneak over here and scare them off in my spare time, when I wasn't dealing with you and Tex, and that new yellow freak, and that stupid disgusting kid a' yours. Along with Ghost and that shupid fuckingt alien of his!

Tucker:    Okay, okay. Man, I hope if Flowers is alive that he doesn't want this armour back. Hey what's up with the Reds?

Tex:    Where are they?

Church:    Who knows. Maybe it's lunch time. Maybe the Red army doesn't pay overtime and they all just went home.

Tex:    All their stuff is here. I don't think they evacuated.

Tucker:    What do you think Tex?

Tex:    I think we may have walked right in to a-

Wyoming:    A trap?

Tex:    Wyoming.

Church:    Okay see? Now, if I was O'Malley, I would've known that was gonna happen.

Cut to an anonymous cave

Grif:    Shouldn't we rethink this plan?

Sarge:    Why?

Grif:    Well now that Simmons has cut us off from Command, we're attacking the enemy base with no support.

Simmons:    I didn't cut us off from Command.

Grif:    You interrupted the radio transmission!

Simmons:    No I didn't. Whoever Sarge was talking with was already down in that cave. I just walked up and started talking to Sarge in the middle of it.

Grif:    What the fuck do you think interrupting means?

Sarge:    Can it you two.

Andy:    Yeah, you're givin' me a headache.

Simmons:    Andy, is that you?

Andy:    No, I'm tha other talkin' bomb. Francis. Pleased ta meet ya ya dickhead.

Simmons:    I thought you were busy helping the enemy.

Andy:    Nah, they didn't need me any more. Apparently that revived guy learned enough alien language to get by. And then it was "what have you done for me lately?"

Grif:    Hey, what was that deal they were talking about when I was all drugged out?

Donut:    Grif, I'm prouda you. Admitting you have a problem, is the first step.

Grif:    Fuck off, Donut.

Donut:    Baby steps Grif.

Andy:    That new alien is here to find the old one, and he revived the blue guy to help him. But then somethin' happened to him. I don't know what; started actin' all, funky.

Simmons:    The alien revived him.

Andy:    Yeah. They don't treat life and death the same way we do. Fact that little guy that everyone thinks-

Sarge:    We don't have time for this. Let's go men.

Andy:    Wait, take me with you!

Sarge:    Andy, we're going in to battle unmanned. Low on ammo and with no support. What use could we possibly have for a bomb?