Red vs Blue (Male OC Insert) [Being heavily overhauled]

Recreation Chapter 8: Directions

Fade in to Blue Base in Valhalla, then to Simmons inside

Simmons: What the hell is all this stuff?

Donut: Oh there you are! Did you blow up the base yet?

Simmons: Look at this mess Donut. It's like he's rigged the place.

Donut: Oh yeah, that's Caboose's project.

Simmons: This is what he's been working on?

Donut: He's trying to rebuild the body for that blue buddy of his. Uh, looks like a piece is missing though.

Simmons: For the dead guy. Hh, give me a break. No wonder noone ever wins this war. We're all doing stuff like building lame robots.

Psst... Lopez is standing right behind you

Simmons: Oh, hey, Lopez, uh... I didn't mean you, I meant other... robots.

Lopez backs out

Donut: That was kinda racist.

Simmons: Hey that's not true. I have lots of mechanical friends.

Cut back to the desert

Voice: Just, just give me that microphone. (into megaphone): Do not under any circumstances move. You have entered an active minefield.

Caboose: Does thinking count as moving. Because if it does I think I might have moved- up! I did it again.

Grif: Shut up Caboose.

Caboose: Well I don't want to get exploded.

Ghost: You will be fine Caboose.

South: Just don't move

Sarge: How do we get outta here?

Megaphone Voice: We will guide you out.

Sarge: Great! We'll just wait for you to come out here then.

Megaphone Voice: What? No- fuck that! Listen, we're not coming out there, okay? Hang tight. We're gonna pull up the schematic, we'll be right back. Don't, move.

Sarge: Grif! What were you thinkin' driving us straight into a minefield?

Grif: Me? You were in the passenger seat, that makes you the navigator.

Sarge: What're you talkin' about?

Grif: Everybody knows that. You're in charge of directions.

Sarge: No, the shotgun seat is reserved as a position of respect. And for people who carry shotguns. See? Quid pro quo. Now Grif, here's the plan. You walk in front of us, very slowly.

Grif: No.

Sarge: If you hear anything that sounds like a small metallic click, or it feels like your legs are being blown off, just say "found one."

Grif: No.

Caboose: Uh oh! I think I just thought about something again.

Dhuka: I hate you humans.

Sarge: Both of ya shut up. I have to think a way outta this mess.

Grif: You mean the mess you navigated us into?

Sarge: How 'bout I come over there and navigate my fist through your forehead?

Grif surveys the active minefield

Grif: Heh, okay, bring it. Just stroll on over here across the minefield and beat me to death.

Sarge: Maybe I will...