Red vs Blue (Male OC Insert) [Being heavily overhauled]

Season 9 Chapter 8: Shaking the Foundation

Fade in to the Reds finishing the robot

Simmons: Euh, there. Man, that safety switch was hard to bolt on. Probably should've gotten a bigger one.

Donut: It's not how big the switch is, Simmons; it's how you flip it.

Simmons: Donut, shut up!

Ghost: You interrupted my nap for this... why

Sarge: You'll know soon, Alright, robot's all done. Time to fire it up! Let's hit the old power button. Who wants to do the honors? Grif?

Grif: Meh.

Sarge: Well said. Donut?

Donut: Sorry, just clear-coated my nails. I'm not chipping one of these babies.

Sarge: Alright, Ghost?

Ghost: I just want to sleep.

Sarge: I'm proud of you! Simmons

Simmons: I-d-i- it would be an honor, Sir. Uh, that is, if you're sure you don't wanna do it.

Sarge: Now that you mention it, it does sound kinda fun. I always did like pushing things.

Simmons: Oh... okay.

Donut: Hey Sarge, what's this robot gonna do for us anyway?

Sarge: Oh you know, the usual robot stuff: math we don't wanna do-

Simmons: Right, like that exists.

Sarge: Menial tasks like, maintaining the vehicle-

Simmons: Maintenance is crucial.

Sarge: Organization-

Simmons: Hm, maybe I should make a list of all the robot's duties.

Sarge: And basically any task that no-one wants to do or is part of anyone's official job description.

Ghost: So he can do all my work and I can just sleep

Sarge: Yes

Ghost: I love this robot

Simmons: Additional work? What you mean like extra credit? No-one told me there was extra credit. What is it. I'll do it.

Donut: Hey Simmons, sounds like this robot is going to be doing all the jobs you do.

Simmons: Heh heh heh... yeahh.

Donut: Well don't worry. I'm sure Sarge will find some other responsibilities for ya. Right Sarge?

Sarge: ...

Donut: Sarge?

Sarge: Huh? Oh right. One of the robot's functions is to answer awkward questions that I don't want to. Better turn him on. Here we go, let me just get this panel up. Make some specific noise and then drop it on the ground...

Earthquake?

Sarge: Holy guacamole!

Simmons: Gaaaah, another earthquake! Everyone institute emergency plan! Hold on a second let me put on my Marshall's vest. Everyone just remain calm, whatever you do don't-

Earthquake stops

Simmons: Panic.

Donut: Looks like the earthquake stopped.

Simmons: Yeah.

Donut: You're just disappointed that no-one got to use the emergency plan, aren't you Simmons.