Red vs Blue (Male OC Insert) [Being heavily overhauled]

Season 2 Episode 35: What's Mine Is Yours

Tucker and Caboose on top of the blue base

Tucker: Man Caboose, you were asleep for a long time. What were you dreaming about?

Caboose: Oh, nothing. I do not like to dream. I try not to think while I'm sleeping.

Tucker: That's pretty much how you function when you're awake, too.

Caboose: I think consistency is important.

Church: Well you look okay... then again that's... just the armor. How d'you feel?

Caboose: Great! ...Who're you?

Church: Oh COME ON, not this again! How can you seriously not remember me?

Caboose: Oh of course, I remember you... you're Marvin.

Church: I'm Church.

Caboose: I think I would remember a name that ridiculous. Nope, you are definitely Phil.

Church: You killed me with the tank.

Caboose: Dave.

Church: You insulted my girlfriend, you called her a cow?

Caboose: Karen.

Tucker: Dude, he called her a slut.

Caboose: Phineous?

Ghost: She's your ex-girlfriend dumb ass.

Caboose: Hi Ghost!

Ghost: How are you doing?

Caboose: I'm doing fine.

Church: How do you remember him?

Caboose: He is my friend.

Church: Your whole life is based around pleasing me.

Caboose: Wally.

Church: In fact...

Caboose: Milo?

Church: I think you're kind of obsessed with being my best friend.

Caboose: Ghost is my best friend. (turning to Tucker and whispering loudly) The new guy is pretty full of himself.

Church: New guy, what the- I'm not the new guy, you're the new guy.

Tucker: I don't know, I kinda like it. I could get used to calling you Rookie.

Church: Oh yeah? Could you get used to me beating you to death?

Caboose: What's wrong with the rookie? He seems mad.

Church: Oh son of a bitch.

Caboose: Susan?

Cut to the red base. Donut is jumping in the middle, trying to get on the upper level, including grunting jumping effort noises, while Grif watches

Grif: Donut, there's no way you can jump that high.

Donut: Yes I can. (jumps) (while jumping a second time) Yes I can.

Simmons: What the hell is he doing?

Grif: Losing a bet.

Donut: Oah, I almost got it that time. Are you sweatin' yet, sucker!?

Grif: No, I can't sweat. Simmons' stupid sweat glands don't even work right.

Simmons: What? They were working when I gave them to you.

Grif: Please, I'm not moist in any of the usual places. If you want 'em back so bad, take 'em.

Simmons: (sigh) I can't. Sarge said that sweat makes my cyborg parts rusty, so, I'm cooled by freon now.