Yesterday I slept all day and night except the times I woke up from tics. Today me and Awsten walked around campus and looked at everything. Josh and Oliver are at work so we don't have to worry about them or anything.
"Okay, this is going to sound weird.. but I dont feel.. uh.. well I feel happy I got my soulmate but I feel like I'm missing something. Should I try to get a hobby or something?" I ask Awsten. He shrugs a little.
"Well you draw, isnt that a hobby?" He says and I nod. It is a hobby but.. I'm not sure I dont feel satisfied with my life. Is it the tourettes? Is that the problem? I hope not because I cant get ride of that.
"When you left yesterday so did josh and Oliver ended up having to help me. I'm not upset about that but after he helped me he took xanax and.. I dont know he doesn't seem okay," I tell the blue haired guy. He fixes his peach colored shirt and then looks at me thinking.
"I think you should forget about him. You found your soulmate so you shouldn't mix yourself up with more guys," he says and I feel offended. Is he saying that I cant be trusted? That I'll hurt me and Josh's relationship? He's a guy should I not 'mix myself up with' him? I scoff and look at him.
"Really? I shouldn't help someone who seems like they need it?" I say with attitude. He sighs and shrugs looking... sad? I stop walking and look at him. He stops too and faces me but looks at my shoes. "Why do you think that?" I ask softly.
He bites his lip and scratches the back of his head. "Uh.. I'm already losing you to one guy.. if you get another friend then half of the time you're usually with me it will be with him.. I'll just be 'one of kellin's friends' and not 'kellins friend'," he says and I realize he's scared of losing me.
I smile a little and hug him. He wraps his arms around me and hugs back comfortably. "You're always going to be my bestfriend. One day we'll be married- not to each other but you know- and well still go out and have fun together. Just us," I say and he rubs my back as we hug.
"You wont forgot about me?" He asks and I shake my head a little.
"I could never. I need attention 24/7 and no boyfriend or husband could give me that. You always are there for me. I cant promise you that we are going to stay this close forever but I'll promise you, you'll always be my best friend that I love and talk to a lot," I say and really mean it. Awsten pulls away and wipes his glossy eyes.
"What if I find my soulmate and start getting distant? Will you make sure that doesn't happen?" He asks.
"Awsten, I'll fight them if they try to steal you from me," I say and he laughs.
"Okay, then.. I guess you should talk to him. Or maybe just try to observe him first. Closed people dont like to be ripped open," he says.
"Gag me," I cover my mouth and look around to see if anyone other than Awsten heard. He's giggling at me so I pout. "I feel like my tourettes is a person and they are rude and kinky. Last night I told josh to shove a cactus up my ass," I mumble and he starts laughing harder.
I giggle at myself and at Awstens laugh. "What did he say?" He asks and I scoff with a smile.
"He said 'I don't have a cactus but if you want-' and then I covered his mouth so he wouldn't finish it," I say blushing as I remember that.
"You still haven't had a real first kiss right?" He asks and I blush more.
"The closest thing to a kiss I've experienced was when I shoved my lips to yours," I say and he smiles. It was totally a accident. We were hugging and I kissed him as I said 'yum'.
Theres two guys sitting on a bench talking to each other and we are about to pass them. "You can't swim, you can't dance, and you dont know karate-" one of the guys says and both me and Awsten look at him instantly.
"Face it, you're never gonna make it," Awsten says and the guy looks at him wide eyed.
"I dont wanna make it," the guy finishes in a whisper. He stands up and walks up to Awsten and bites his lip. "You're my soulmate?" He asks and Awsten's face goes red. I smile and watch them.
"Now fuck," I yell and they all look at me. Awsten blushing and the other two look surprised. "Sorry- fuck off," I cover my mouth.
"Um.. yeah, we are. I'm Awsten," he says and the others smile hard.
"I'm Geoff," the other says.
"And I'm Otto!" The other guy says and I smile. These guys seem cool.
When everything goes good is when something has to happen. Everything gets distant and quiet. "Awsten," I mumble and feel everything shutting down. Awsten catches me and then I feel myself go unconscious.
Thoughts
