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After I talk to Awsten about Josh I decide that I'm going to talk to him and see why he doesn't want me talking to Oliver. If it's just because he's jealous I need for him to understand that I'm going to talk to anyone I want. I dont believe a parter should control the other.
Right now I'm sitting on Josh's bed waiting for him. Awsten and Geoff are in the other room and I talked to them a bit. They are just there incase something goes wrong. They wont be to in my business when I talk to josh because we are in different rooms and talking to each other.
Oli isn't here and it's right about the time josh gets here. I want this to be calm and not an argument. Soon enough Josh comes back and sees me on his made bed. He looks like a puppy that knows he's in trouble. He comes over and sits next to me.
"Why didn't you want me to talk to Oliver?" I ask and he sighs.
"He's just dangerous to be around. You cant help him and.. I don't trust him. Not with anything, especially you," he says. "He's not a good guy and he'll never get better," josh says his thoughts.
I dont believe that. Oliver is young and might be in a bad spot now but nobody's unfixable. Well, maybe Dahvie- But we dont talk about Blood On The Dance Floor, they suck. Anyways, Oliver is just a person. He hasn't done anything wrong or bad to me so even if josh doesn't like him that doesn't mean I shouldn't like him.
"Listen. I really like you, you're my soulmate so I dont want to argue. But, I'm a twenty year old guy. I can decide who I'm going to talk to. You can trust me not to cheat or anything like that. I'm not stupid," I tell him and he trys to agree by shrugging.
"Its not about cheating, it's that I dont want him to hurt you.." he says.
"He doesn't seem violent. Maybe rude but I dont think he'll hurt me," I say. Even though I don't know really anything about Oliver I still think I trust Oliver more then Josh. Is it stupid? Maybe. Do I care? No. Maybe I'm just more understanding?
"No.. I mean hurt you mentally. I've known oliver for years and- and- well.. I regret it. I wish I never met him," josh says and I feel bad for josh. Even if he hurt josh doesn't mean he'll hurt me..
I hug josh. "I'll keep it in mind but I'm going to try to help him. If you have valid tips I'll listen to avoid getting hurt but if you tell me I cant try that's kinda fucked up.." I tell him as he hugs me back.
"Okay.. but.. please don't blame yourself if you dont fix him. Its impossible," he says. With that attitude it is. I go to talk but end up yipping. I put my hand over my mouth and muffle them until I stop.
"Anyways, tell me about him. Vic said you two were friends," I ask josh.
"Uh.. Oli's.. like. He's pretty hard to explain. He's the type two party until he passes out and drinks until he's dead. He use to never sleep but it seems like that's all he does now. He's also.. he use to be really caring but he doesn't give a shit about anything. Something happened two years ago and he disappeared for a while. People thought he died or something and.. he did.. in some form. He's not Oli anymore.." josh says while looking deep in thought.
Two years ago.. around the time he cut his arm? "Did he have friends?" I ask.
"Hmm.. yeah, me and Vic were really close friends of his. But he kept sneaking off and the last time he snuck off he didn't come back for over a month," he says and I nod. Something happened to Oliver.. Probably something bad.
"Did you two fight before he left?" I ask and he nods guilty.
"Bop it to start," I say and roll my eyes at myself. I cant function normally. I have to say or yell random things. Josh grabs my face and I pout because- well I guess I'm just in a pouty mood. His thumbs are on my cheeks as his fingers and palms hold my jaw and other parts of my face.
Josh then leans in and my face goes red. WAIT I DONT KNOW HOW TO KISS. To late his lips are on mine. My stomach's in a 'wirl and my heart is fluttering. I almost feel panicked but its okay.
I move my lips against his and kiss back. Hopefully I'm not making a fool of myself. It feels right so maybe I'm not a horrible kisser. I pull away before he tries to deepen the kiss blushing like mad. Josh is blushing to and his eyes flicker from my lips to my eyes.
"I-I I've never kissed anyone, was that okay?" I ask feeling shy. He smiles and nods.
"Yeah, I thought you kissed people before-" he says and I shake my head no. His face goes redder. "So you're a virgin?" He says putting his hand on my thigh.
I've never felt so gay in my entire life. "Y-yeah," I mumble embarrassed and he squeezes my thigh lightly. I have thick thighs for a guy- no- for anyone really. He leans in to kiss me again but my embarrassing tourettes has to have its action. Not on purpose I lick Josh's jaw to his ear.
My face goes red and I pull away and cover my mouth. Josh puts a pillow in his lap and blushes. That was so weird of me. "I'm sorry it was a tic," I say and he nods.
"Yeah I realize that," he says and I sigh. Why did I have to ruin the mood. I wanted to kiss him.
"Ouch! Stoopppp," I hear Awsten yell from the other room. "Geoff dont- bite me!" He says and I blink. What's happening? I hear them run around and I can only assume Geoff is trying to bit my friend..
Awsten runs into this room with Geoff chasing him and then me and Josh watch as they chase each other around laughing and giggling.
I ship them.
Thoughts?
Oli?
Josh?
He dissapeared for a little while..
