As me and Josh walk down the hallway we talk about the upcoming party. "I've never been to a party," I tell him after he asks if I'm going. It's a college party, I've never even been to a high school party.
Josh looks at me almost tripping on the carpet. "Never? Have you ever got drunk?" He asks surprised.
I feel a little stupid for being so inexperienced but I hide it with a smile and shake my head. "Nope, never had a real opportunity," I say and with little warning slap myself on my cheek. The slap echos and I feel the sting. Josh looks at me and I feel myself start going into a tic attack. I stop walking and josh very lightly grabs my wrists like he's getting ready to stop me from hitting myself.
"I have drugs up my ass!" Why do I have to be so loud? His hands are protecting me but its triggering something in my mind that's making it worse. "L-let go," I say and he does but this leads to me hitting the side of my head.
I sink down on the wall and put my face into my knees wanting to protect my face from the jerking movements of my hands and arms. I feel like a ghost is possessing my body and attacking me but doesn't know the controls.
Josh starts talking to someone but I cant process the words or meaning because I'm trying to stop myself from freaking out. I hit my head on the wall uncontrollably. Once I did this until I passed out..
The wall becomes a hand and I feel bad for who ever is helping me (probably josh) because this probably hurts him. I'm not doing it as hard as I can, thank god, but if it hurt the back of my head it will hurt their hand.
I keep my eyes closed and let the body convolutions do whatever they want. Hopefully soon it will stop. After a while I gain control and look around to see Oli next to me with his hand on the wall behind me and josh is on the other side of me looking worried.
"You shouldn't have done that," I say turning around to look at Oli's hand but he stands and puts it in his pocket to fast. Josh helps me up and I sigh. My muscles are still sore from last night when I twitched around all night so this just adds to the discomfort.
We all start walking to the elevator and I lean on josh as we walk. "Are you okay?" Josh asks and I shrug. I'm tired.. we get in the elevator so I cling to josh but like everytime josh seems uncomfortable when I hug him. It's only in the elevator that I feel like he wants to be far away from me.
The elevator starts to move but the lights flicker. Oh my god we're going to die. As soon as I think this the elevator shakes and we all stumble. Everything stops and I death grip josh scared we are all about to die. "Are we stopped? Are we stuck? Oh my god," josh starts asking really fast and Oli pulls me off of josh and hugs me so I attached myself to Oli.
"Fuck, is this place getting smaller!?" Josh is now freaking out pacing the floor.
"Stop josh, we only stopped, the walls aren't closing in," oli says calmly. I dont like this so I hide my eyes in Oli's shirt. He's rubbing my back trying to keep me calm.
"We are going to die," josh says getting in a corner and freaking out. Is he claustrophobic?
"We aren't going to die. I'm calling the main office-" oli is calm as he says this.
"No, no, no, call 911. What if the rope breaks?" Josh says anxiously.
"Look, I'll press the emergency button on the elevator," he says pressing the button.
"How can I help you?" A lady voice says.
"The elevator stopped and we are stuck inside," oli says as josh mumbles about being trapped and the walls are closing in. The lady tells us help is on the way and to just sit down and keep calm.
"Joshie.. it's going to be okay," Oli says quietly and starts going over to him so I put my face in his back so I'm not in his way. Josh is now crying.. I've never seen josh cry..
Oli sits down next to josh so I sit next to him and hug one of his arms. "I'm trapped," josh says in a weak voice.
"You aren't. We'll be out soon. You need to calm down because it's just upsetting Kellin and yourself," he says and josh nods.
"I'm sorry, I'm just scared," josh says.
Oli holds his hand and then looks at me. "You don't need to be scared either, they will get us out soon," he says and I nod and lean on him. I'm freaking out but more on the inside.
"Sing for me," josh whispers to Oli. Can Oli sing? I mean everyone can sing but does he sound good?
"My head is haunting me and my heart feels like a ghost
I need to feel something, 'cause I'm still so far from home
Cross your heart and hope to die
Promise me you'll never leave my side," he can sing. His voice sounds so good and it sounds sweet.
"Show me what I can't see when the spark in your eyes is gone
You've got me on my knees I'm your one man cult
Cross my heart and hope to die
Promise you I'll never leave your side," I've never heard this song before but I love it.
"'Cause I'm telling you you're all I need
I promise you you're all I see
'Cause I'm telling you you're all I need
I'll never leave," Oliver sings looking at the wall in front of us. Why did he choose this song? Does he still have feelings for josh?
"So you can drag me through hell
If it meant I could hold your hand
I will follow you 'cause I'm under your spell
And you can throw me to the flames
I will follow you, I will follow you," that sounds nice but it's kind of implying that he/whoever wrote this is okay with being in a relationship where the other person is abusive or just bad for him and he doesn't care because he loves them so much.
"Come sink into me and let me breathe you in
I'll be your gravity, you be my oxygen
So dig two graves 'cause when you die
I swear I'll be leaving by your side," he stops and rubs his face.
"I miss hearing you sing," josh mumbles.
Oli shrugs. "I don't even sound that good," he says but I disagree 100% but I'm not going to interrupt them.
Josh looks at their hands and then at Oli's face. "Why did you cheat on me?" He says in a whisper. "Was I not good enough for you?" He asks.
Oli sighs. "I- I already told you it's none of your business," he says.
"I think you should tell him," I mumble and Oli rolls his eyes.
"Fine, you want to know the truth? Why I would cheat?? Because I was upset because you didn't love me. You didn't like hugging me and I felt so fucking alone so when I found someone else who shared my words I thought they were my real soulmate. Not you. Why would you be my soulmate? You dont love me.. anyways. I cheated and.. something happened and I was trapped. It's over now so it doesn't even matter," Oli says with anger in his voice.
After oli stops talking josh has no words. This isnt my conversation so I dont say anything. Josh shakes his head no. "I loved you.. I just dont like physical affection that much.." josh whispers.
The two guys both stop talking and Oli holds both our hands. What does this mean for them?
Thoughts?
Questions?
Oli and josh?
