When Josh gets back I attack him again but differently.
I hug him softly before he even gets in the room. He tries to continue walking as he hugs me but I cant walk backwards so I fall and he almost steps on my no no square but instead he lifts both feet and falls down on top of me. "Ouchy," I say and he blushes.
He gets up and helps me up quickly. I pout and hug back onto him "why are you attracted to me?" He mumbles as we awkwardly walk to our room.
"Because I'm lonely," I tell him the truth. He sighs and kisses my forehead but rips me off like I'm velcro.
"You're adorable but I don't want to be constantly attracted to you- that sounds rude- uh, I just mean," I take a step back and watch him as he talks. Does he not like cuddling? "What I mean is I really really like you but I don't like as soon as I walk in you make me trip. But I like you being excited to see me its just.. I'm sorry," he says seeming upset.
Some people dont like physical affection like I do. But is it that or is it he doesn't like me? "Um.. like, you want me touching you or just tone it down?" I ask quietly. I hate rejection..
He hugs me and kisses the top of my head. "I'm sorry I didn't mean to upset you. I just want you tone it a little down? I'm just- I love cuddling but only when I'm in the mood," he says and I nod slowly.
"Okay.. um.. tell me when I can cuddle?" I ask and he nods and steps away from me. I wont say my feelings aren't hurt but I understand. I'm always trying to cuddle and he's put up with it for almost a month. I'm pretty sure he does like me as much as I do it's just naturally he's not cuddley 24/7.
"Are you ready to go on our date?" He asks. I smile and he grabs my hand and leads me to my shoes. I put them on and he leads me out. From what I've learned and experienced is josh loves dates, talking, and watching movies. I think we've been on 3 dates already? I'm not sure what he considers a date but me and josh have a good relationship.
Just because he doesn't want to constantly cuddle doesn't mean he doesn't like me. I'm happy he told me, communicating is important.
About a hour later we are on the beach watching the waves. I'm wearing white ripped skinny jeans and a long flowy purple long sleeved shirt I stole from Awsten. I steal a lot of his clothes.. "it's hot, why dont you take that off?" He says looking at my outfit. My face goes red and I look around to see nobody. Of course not, we went to a secret spot on the beach.
"But?" I say and he grabs the hem of my shirt and pulls up. He pulls it off and I blush and he grabs my pants ready to unbutton it.
"But what?" He asks and I have no idea what to say. I'm not against it? But I have no reason to take off my clothes, like, I'm kinda in public. He undoes my pants and I watch him pull down my pants. Am I okay with this? I'm not self conscious about my body that much but..
"Fuck!" I say and cover my mouth. I step out of my pants and fix my briefs. "Take off your clothes. I'm not going to be the only one," I say with sass. He chuckles and takes off his shirt.
I sit down on the sand and watch him take off his pants. He has on dark red boxers. He sits next to me and he looks at my legs and touches my thigh. "Do you shave?" He ask looking at my armpits now.
My face goes red. "I uh.. dont really grow body hair?" I say and he grabs my waist ban about to look down my underwear. I slap his hand away.
"I do shave there but shh," I say and he pushes me into the sand and gets on top of me. His hands are one either side of my head and his face gets close to my own. I like the idea of half naked josh on top of me. I grab the side of his face and let him kiss me.
His knee is in between my thighs and soon is against my underwear. He kisses roughly and I feel blood rush to certain areas. He touches my delicate skin that might burn in this sun and starts messing with the places on my sides that I squirm at.
"Waves," I say and he chuckles and kisses down my jaw and sucks on my neck. Why do I have to start really ticing now? I blink repeatedly and he pauses.
"Should I stop?" He asks and I blush. Should he?
"I- yip- I guess," I say as my legs kicks little but it's more twitching than kicking. Josh is very nice and I kind of want him to be more.. rough. Like, I want him to be able to kiss me and do stuff even if I tic a little.
I dont know maybe "gag me" and cuff me- I just said gag me out outloud.. Josh's face is red and I see he has a boner from out kissing.. I think he wants to have sex.. I'm not ready? I dont know I'm 20 years old and I was waiting for my soulmate but now I just want to wait until a perfect opportunity.
"I'd rather treat you like a princess. Do you want to go into the water?" He asks and I look at it.
"No. Can we build sandcastles instead?" He smiles when I say this and that's what we do for hours. I ended up smashing every one we made on accident but we laughed at it every time. Except the times I pouted and he smothered me in kisses to make me smile.
When we put on our clothes I realized how sandy we are and- sand is where sand shouldn't be.. "sandy cheeks," I say on accident and he laughs.
"Not funnyyy, its truee," I say making him laugh more and hug me.
"Okay kells, we can take a shower together," he says.
I gasp and look at him like he's crazy. "Pervert. I'm taking one alone," I say and he laughs but nods.
"'Mkay, have it your way," he says and opens my door and helps me in his car. He shuts my door and then gets in his side. I really like josh.. I think I'm falling in love with him but.. why do I still have crushes on Oliver and Vic? I dont even think Oli and I have matching words.
You can fall in love with someone who doesn't have matching words but it always ends badly. You can also mess up your relationship with your soulmate and it end badly.. I hope I'm doing the right thing by talking to Oli..
We kissed..
I feel guilty for hiding it from Josh but we are in a open relationship. It's not cheating.. but it's not 100% right of me to hide it.
Thoughts?
Okay I still want you to spam but I'm only replying to half (ish) of them and then when I need to refresh my mind on what happened on the chapter before I'll go back and answer the rest. So I'll still answer them all but not instantly and I'm probably going to band myself from Instagram for one day bc if I say a week I'll break that rule and yeah..
Theories?
Do you think kellin and Oli match words?
What do we know about oli?
What about Vic? (I forgot oops) I know we saw he cuts but what else fo we know?
