The next day in class I see Oliver is back. He slept in last class so I didn't get to say hi but since I sit so close to him in this class I say hi when I sit down next to him.
He looks at he and rolls his eyes and then continues to take out a notebook. I ignore the rude behavior and take out my notebook that's filled with my glitter pen writing. How did I not realize I was gay sooner?
"Faggot!" I dont even look up because I know the ten or so early people are all looking at me weird. "Fag," I whisper as I continue to get out my things. Vocal tics dont really bother me that much. Its when I start hitting myself to not having control is when I start to get annoyed at myself. My handwriting is neat and pretty except for the range lines that go across them.
"I took notes yesterday- well I always do but do you want to take them?" I ask and Oliver looks at it and then me. He then shakes his head no and looks at his paper. He then starts drawing a rose. Oliver likes roses.
"I think he should do online college because he's distracting everyone and I feel unsafe," some girl gossips with her friend. I don't even look up because this happens so much. I ignore them to an degree as I copy important information from the PowerPoint to my paper.
I don't want to do online classes, I want to be normal. I want to do what normal people do. I do what I want to, they hate to see me try but in the end I will be fine. I throw my pen up and the guy below/infront of me flinches when it lands on his paper. He picks it up and turns around to see me looking at it.
"This is yours?" He says handing it to me.
"Yeah, Thank you," I say taking it. He seems nice. His name is justin hills and I drop a lot of stuff on him and he just gives it back. I dont think I've ever heard him mocking me. I kinda want to be his friend but everything is to stressful right now.
I start writing again and taking notes only sometimes jerking my head in wrong directions causing lines on my paper. Thing get blurry and I get the feeling I'm going to pass out. "Oliver-" I say but stop talking because I cant hear normal. So I don't hurt myself I faint in the direction of Oliver because hopefully he'll catch me.
-
When I wake up everything is so weird and feels not normal. I try to sit up but get the feeling I'm going to fall so I cling to the thing closes to me. I look at it and feel it. Its Oliver. He's holding me? Oh he's carrying me.
"Down," I mumble and he sets me down. I rub my eyes with one hang and use I'm as a thing to hold on to so I don't fall. I look around to see we are in a hallway. Hmm.. I look at him to see he looks bored or something.
"Thanks, where are we?" I say looking at the hallway.
"We just walked out of the lobby, the elevator is right around the corner," he says and I realize where we are. Fuck elevators. I start walking but still holding on to his hoodie. He walks with me and I stumbled a little. My body and mind is still half asleep.
We go into the elevator and I hug him and close my eyes. Only seconds later I'm sliding down as I fall asleep. He pulls me up causing me to wake up slightly. He holds me so I don't fall and the elevator opens. He helps me out and I sit on the floor.
"Stop, I dont feel good," I say as my head spins. I lay down and look at the ceiling. Oliver sits next to me.
"Are you okay?" He ask in a distorted voice. It feels like I'm passing out but I'm not. Am I not breathing right? Or is it my blood pressure?
"I dont know," I answer and put my hands over my face.
"What happened. What did you do to him?" Josh's voice asks coming up.
"I didn't do anything and he's just- I dont know," Oliver says defensively.
"Yeah, like I believe that. Get away from him," Josh's voice sounds mean and bitter. My head hurts and I feel bad.
"Hospital," I mumble sounding far away. I dont like this feeling and my doctor says if I feel something is off I should go so they can have more data on me. They argue about something and I feel myself being picked up but I keep my eyes closed because I dont like the spiny vision.
After a little while I feel better so I look around to see I'm in a car and my head is in Josh's lap. I sit up and see Oliver is driving. "Are you okay?" Josh asks me.
I still have a migraine. I rub my face and still feel dizzy and out of it. "Dont talk," I whisper because noise hurts my brain. I lean on josh and look at Oliver through the mirror, he looks stressed. He always does but he seems more so.
We pull up to the hospital and we get out. "Stay here, neither of us want to see you," josh says to Oliver. What?
Josh tries to lead me but I pull away. "Oliver please carry me. Josh is mean and I dont like mean people," I mumble going to him.
Josh cant just be mean to Oliver and expect me to go along. Oliver picks me up and Josh looks pissed off but follows us.
-
"So it wasn't anything?" I ask after my doctor explained everything to me in depth. It just sounds like I fainted.
"Well.. kind of. If it happens again write it down and if it happens a lot we could look more into it but be ran tests and theres nothing abnormal in your brain activity," he says and I nod. I still have a headache but its lesser.
We leave and I walk with both Oliver and josh even though they want nothing to do with each other. When we get back to our dorm Oliver goes to his bed and Josh stomps to his room. Awsten in on his bed looking at me for an explanation. I go to him and lay down.
"I passes out weirdly so I when to the hospital and they argued and I sided with Oliver so Josh is mad," I say lightly so they dont hear me to Awsten.
"Are you okay?" He asks. Everyone has asked me this..
"Yeah, I have a headache but I'm better than earlier. I just need a nap," I mumble cuddling up to him. I close my eyes and relax as best as I can getting ready to let myself fall asleep.
Thoughts?
Josh?
Oli?
Kellin?
