kellin's pov
Friday Awsten comes over to my house and helps me pack my stuff. Help me as in do it for me. Currently I'm laying on my bed as Awsten puts things in a box. "What about this?" He says making me look over at him. He's holding a notebook I draw in.
"Uh.. didnt you already put like 4 other ones in?" I ask and he looks in the box.
"Yeah but this one has some writing in it," he says flipping through pages.
"Just leave it, if I miss it I'll get it on one of my off days," I mumble tiredly. I passed out a little while ago after a freak out so I'm exhausted. Awsten continues to put things in the two boxes and I only halfway watch him. He knows what stuff I need more than I do.
My phone dings but I ignore it. Most likely its josh and he's probably being sweet but I'm just to tired to answer him. I dont want to Trigger another tic attack. What I've learned is Josh is really sweet and he talks a lot about his dog and his friends. He also asks how I'm feeling a lot and why.
I had a really long night of hitting myself and jerking around. My mom even come upstairs to try to help me because I was constantly yelling all night. My thoat hurts and I feel bummed out.
"I'm going to talk this to the car, I'll be back," he says and leaves. I pick up my phone and look at his last text.
Josh: what are you doing?
What am I doing? Dying. Okay I'm not but I feel like it.
Me: I'm attempting to be normal but every time I stand up or talk my tics act up
Even just texting is making my muscles twitch weirdly. "Mmmm," I make a sound using the back of my throat on accident.
Josh: that must be hard to live with
Me: yeah all night I was awake hitting myself so now I have a few new bruises
Josh: :c I wish I could help
Awsten comes back in so i sit up. "Are we leaving soon?" I ask.
"Yeah I packed your clothes and other things. The only thing that needs to happen is you say bye to your family and then we can go," he says and I nod.
Me: same, I'm leaving soon so I'll see you later
I put my phone away and twitch harshly making me slightly hurt my neck. I put my hand on my neck and sigh. "Its like because I'm pretty, smart, and nice I had to gave a bad thing about me," I mumble and Awsten shrugs.
"I dont think you're tourettes is bad, I understand its tiring but it doesn't change how I see you," he says and shake my head no. I hate my tourettes and that's a part of me so I hate myself in a way.
We walk down the steps and Awsten holds my arm in case I try to jump down the stairs or trip myself. Its happened before and I had to go to the hospital so I dont tell him to stop.
-
I set down my box and unlock the door with the key card and open the door. Awsten walks in with a box and I see the first room is empty. Well empty from people, Awsten's boxes are on his bed because yesterday he decided to put his stuff here so today he can help me and not worry about his stuff.
We go into Josh's and my room and put the boxes on my side. "Josh is still at work," I say to Awsten because he looked around for him at first. "I'm horny!" My face goes red and I cover my mouth. Awsten snickers at me and i pout. "Oh shut up," I say and he laughs more.
"Remember when you got handcuffed and yelled out daddy to the cop," he says laughing. I scoff and cross my arms.
"He was an asshole, like, he cuffed me because I yelled 'I'm selling cocaine,' like did I look like I would sell cocaine?? I was wearing a fucking onesie," I mumble.
The door opens and closes and I expect it to be josh so I abandon Awsten to go greet josh. When I enter the other room I see The guy I forgots name. He looks up and his brown almost curly hair is swooping to the side just enough so his dark brown eyes lock with mine.
Shivers go up my spine and I feel shy. He has a vibe to him that screams 'I'm going to jail one day'. Maybe I'm just judging him because of all the tattoos and the dark vibe to him.
"I'm kellin, you are?" I say and he rolls his eyes. He walks out of the dorm room and slams the door behind him. I guess he doesn't like me.. my shoulders slump a little and I feel like I ruined his day by just existing.
I walk back to my room and bark. Awsten looks at me and I stomp my foot. Fuck its happening again. "Was that the other one and not josh?" He asks and I nod while I bark.
I hit my forehead and groan. Awsten steps forward and pulls my hands down and hugs me. "Fuck- fuck fuckfuck," my body twitches and I feel so drained.
"Hey it's okay," he says as I repeat 'fuck' over and over. When josh comes in I'm still trying to hit myself and swear.
"Should I do something?" He asks Awsten. I moan and groan uncontrollably and light hit my head into Awstens shoulder.
"I got him," he says. I dont feel like I can keep up with all of this, I'm so tired.
"Fuckkk I cant- fuck- I'm tired," I start crying slightly as my body twitches. After ten minutes of this I finally stop twitching and saying fuck. I sigh and Awsten let's go a little.
"Done?" He asks and I sniffle a little.
"Yeah," I say and wipe my face more. "I'm so exhausted," I mumble and he let's go of me all the way. I look at josh who is sitting on his bed watching us looking a little worried.
"Can you please make my bed?" I ask Awsten. He nods and I go to josh and then lay on his bed. "Lay with me?" I ask josh and he smiles and lays down. We dont really cuddle but we do lay together. I close my eyes and he touches my hand. I like josh, he's nice..
Thoughts?
Words: 1123
Poor kells
Oli?
Josh?
Awsten?
