Hiraya (HEST #1)

Kabanata 12

Musical Arc XII: Gold For a Rag

It is a deep wonder for a long time as to how news spread like wild fire in a matter of minutes.

Ang balita, kuwento, o tsismis ay napapasa mula sa bibig ng isang tao patungo sa tenga ng isa sa mabilis na paraan. Ang mga nakarinig naman ay papasa muli ito sa iba nang meroong kakaunting kaibahan sa salita. Bago mo pa malaman, kumalat na ang usapin sa lahat ng iyong mga kakilala sa iba't ibang bersyon ng paglathala.

That's just how news arrive most of the time, I guess?

"Wala kang ginawang masama sa akin." I steeled my voice so it wouldn't waver as I answer him.

"It's okay. You can tell me. Para alam ko kung papaano ako makakahingi nang tawad sa'yo."

That made me more guilty. Nag-iba ako ng pag-upo sa bench.

"You had not wronged me in anyway, Seref. There's hardly a need for you to apologize."

"How can you say that?" May bahid ng nagbabadyang mga tanong sa boses niya. The urgency in his voice made me speculate that he thought about this for so long. Years even. That he played this on his mind several times and tinkered down all the different aspect to find the reason behind all of it. "I must have done something unethical for you to place such distance in between us."

Halos pabulong kong tinugon, "Wala ka naman talagang ginawang mali."

"Then why-" Nasulyapan niya ang aking mata at napabuntong hininga. "Sorry. It's just- I want, I need, to know, Hira."

"Why?" mag-isang lumabas sa aking labi. "Why do you need to know this badly?"

Why all this desperation to learn the reason almost as if if he does, he'll find every way to fix it, and by doing so, it would resolve everything between us?

Why is he so invested in this? In fixing the bridges between us? I'm an investor, and this uneven and chaotic thing is one I would turn my money away from. Can't he see that it's a bad investment and impractical?

"Why wouldn't I want to?"

Mabilis na tumalas ang aking tingin. Bakit hindi niya gugustuhin? Because this thing, this sparking fire between us that I've seen him be aware of too—no matter if it's just a hidden, flimsy fire of a small match—is starting to burn. And I won't volunteer myself as a witch for the stake.

Umiling ako bago umambang iinom sa kape para iderekta ang ibang parte ng nagkukumpulang laban doon.

"I do owe you an explanation." This I know as much. I gulped the coffee in a haste.

Sinagot niya lahat ng aking mga katanungan. Hindi tama at balanse kung hindi ko rin gagawin pabalik. At may utang naman talaga akong eksplanasyon sa kaniya kung bakit iniwasan ko siya kahit wala naman itong ginagawang masama sa akin.

My honor and principle demands me to be honest. Seref hardly deserves any less than that.

Binaba ko ang inumin habang nagkakapa ng salita. Ang aking dibdib ay naghuhurumentado. So much guilt weighed down my chest. This oddly feels like I'm about to confess a crime in front of a police!

Bahagyang napaso ang aking dila mula sa pamamandali sa kape kanina ngunit halos hindi na nagrehistro sa akin 'yon. "It's not that you have committed any wrongful act against me. In fact, you didn't do anything that should purposely upset me."

"And yet I upset you, still." He concluded carefully.

Tumango ako.

"Not you directly. It's more because of myself, really."