Kabanata XXVIII: Sweet News
There is a story in Greek mythology where the daughter of Demeter got stuck in the underworld.
It was told that the reason for this is because her daughter, Persephone, ate the pomegranate seed.
Now, I don't know about this myth but I do know of a story with the same course of action.
There was once a girl, beautiful and loved. Her mother was one's own Demeter, powerful and goddess of agriculture. They live in this hacienda and life there was peaceful.
Until such day came that darkness prevailed.
The girl was lost in the Underworld, seeking for help. When things started to finally shed light, when escape was finally close, the pomegranate seed happened.
The difference between Persephone and that girl is that for her, it was never just a single pomegranate seed that buried her down in the abyss of misery.
The pomegranate was only the start of the Tartarus.
I scrubbed harshly on my skin in the shower.
Hindi nakukuntento kahit na ilang beses nang nagpabalik-pabalik ang magaspang na bath sponge sa aking balat.
I was scrubbing like there's an invisible stain on my skin. A permanent mark that I could not remove.
"Bakit ba ayaw maalis?!" Mabilis na nagalit ako kahit na hindi ko rin naman nakikita kung ano ang gustong alisin.
Ang aking balat ay matindi na ang pamumula dahil naubuso na masyado sa pagkakaskas.
The scrub slipped clumsily on my fingers. Imbes na pulutin pa iyon ay puno ng galit kong sinipa.
"Useless!" Aking tinapak-tapakan na tila 'yon ang may kasalanan ng lahat. "Useless! Useless!"
Ako ay napasapo sa aking mukha habang malalim na humihinga. Ang tubig mula sa shower ay dumadaos at nagbabasa sa akin.
I was losing it.
Everyday since that happened, I spent hours in the shower trying to clean myself.
Sa tuwing pinipikit ko ang aking mata ay sila ang aking nakikita. Their nonchalant talks, their laughs, the way they licked me, the way they touch me, enter me-
Mabilis na nanghina ang aking tuhod.
Don't think about it! Don't! Stop it Hira!
Ngunit ako'y inaapi ng sariling isip. Ang mga masasamang alaala ay hinahabol na naman ako. Nagsimulang manginig ang aking kamay, ang pang-ibabang labi, hanggang sa buong kalamnan ko ay tila nawawasak na muli.
"Calm down. . ." Nanginginig kong alo sa sarili. "C-calm down. It's okay. . . It's okay."
Nakita ko ang aking sarili na naka-upo. Ang mga braso ay nakapalupot sa kamay. Tila sinusubukan akong protektahan kahit wala naman nang ibang andirito kundi ako.
Humihikbi, humahagulgol, namumulang mata.
"They're not here. . . T-they're not here. . ."
It's been days. Or was it weeks? Maybe a month. . .
Hindi ko na alam.
Ngunit hanggang ngayon ay tila kanina palamang. Hanggang ngayon ay nararamdaman ko pa rin sila sa akin. Hanggang ngayon ay nasusuka pa rin ako.
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