101 THINGS ABOUT REMUS LUPIN

[89]

After getting separated from all his friends, Remus grew very reclusive. But he kept their memories alive for him through the photograph albums he had compiled himself back in their school days.

Remus had a carton of unsent letters addressed to his friends and even to Harry. He used to sit down and write the letters whenever the despair became too much.

But all those letters were all unsent because none of his friends could receive them while he just couldn't decide to send Harry his letters or not, uncertain of how Petunia and Vernon would react to it. 

Each of those letters were tear stained and had blots of ink for his hands couldn't stay steady while writing as all the memories would strike with unbearable force.

***

Dear James,

Five years ago on this day you and Lily had gotten married and it was no wonder the happiest day of our lives. We were all together and happy despite the war that was hanging above us. But we had no idea that one of us would switch sides, we could never even think about such an occurrence. For we were brothers, though not by blood but our heart and souls were one. Now when I look back at all our days, all our memories, I can't help but desperately wish those days to return. I wish I could go back to this day five years earlier and somehow time would stop right then and none of this would happen.

***

Dear Peter,

I wish I was there when you confronted him. I wish I could have saved you. I wish I had known about him earlier and I wish you were still alive.

***

Dear Lily,

I am so so sorry I couldn't take Harry in after you guys. Besides who would let a werewolf care for a toddler. I can't even bring myself to go and visit him because I feel as if it would be better for him, safer for him if I stay away.

***

Dearest Harry,

Know that your Uncle Moony still wishes the very best for you and celebrates all your birthdays. I am sorry for not being able to send you gifts, letters or even meeting you. I want to do that, Lord knows how much I want to see you again. but I just can't find the courage to do so. I am sorry.

***

Sirius,

Why? What reason did you have to turn against your brothers? How could you betray James and Lily? How could you? 

***

He had written quite a lot of letters addressed to Sirius as well though none of them would be more than two or three lines. And the most prominent question in those letters was always the same; why did he turn against them?