Blonde and Brunette

It's time

Thomas POV

It's been a few months now.. everyone has a routine.. Jorge and Lawrence have been easy on us with work, but it keeps my mind off of things. Minho works silently besides me, in the garden, helping to build the huts. On this island, this little slab of paradise in the middle of the ocean.. we are finally safe...
Every night when I crawl into bed, I say a little something to him, a prayer you could call it. Every day I say something different, an added detail I now noticed, a small change in the weather, as if I'm talking to him. It helps.. just a little, but it helps. Sometimes I write.. and I'm putting together a poem for him.. I think he'd like it...

One night I fell into bed, wrapping my arms around a pillow... And I wrote to him in a journal...
Every small thing reminds me of you Newt.. from the flashing lights to the smallest of sounds. The small things like a blade of grass or the smell of fresh rain, the flowers, stars, clouds.
You won't leave my head, the last tear fell yesterday night. I have experienced death, pain and heartbreak. I've been lied to by so many, and yet you never did. I was beginning to believe that I had gone numb, that my heart was finally broken. And yet I met you, you were a bright light in the deep hole I was in. That small boy laying in the med-jack hut, and yet we've come so far..
But now the pain doesn't stop, half of me is gone, the other barely holding onto a string. My heart is heavy and I'm slipping away quietly. I miss you.
My heart is yours, and never anyone else's. But you, I'm closest to, and it breaks me.. that your gone. No longer here in the world with me. Every day I wake up and hope to see your smiling face laying next to me, repeating the same cycle since the day we met.
You've tried so hard to keep us together.. you were the glue, but the glue finally dried and cracked. There was nothing left of you.. As much as I tried baby, I could never fix you again. And I'm sorry... I love you..
   Every night I talk to you Newt, and somehow it helped me.. Minho and I have gotten closer baby, we talk, drink.. Sonya is almost a sister to me as well.. We joke, play, run around in the ocean.. I don't think I've smiled that much since I first saw you. Maybe things will be okay.. Maybe I can get through this. Although your not with me here and now my love.. You will always be in my heart.

It's been a year.. a slow, quiet year. Everyone has become family to me now, and I love them all. But you are always in my mind. The fact that I will never see you again haunts me to this day... But I remember the good days we had.. And they help me survive. I've thought about ending it, about being with you, Newt. But every time I pull myself back, and remember I should stay alive..
Every week we have a bonfire, same as in the Glade.. We sing and dance, we laugh and cry.. We say hello and goodbye. It's almost as if we don't have a care in the world.. and we truly may be happy someday.

One night then.. after a breakdown.. I decided, I decided to end it all. Getting out of bed, I pulled on my shoes and walked down the camp to the stone, now weathered from the rain. His name was still there, clear as ever in the moonlight.  I looked at all the names, my eyes focusing on one name only. My fingers reached up and traced it, saying every letter silently, until I croaked out his name for the last time. I took off the capsule necklace, and placed it by the stone, as a final reminder. Looking up, the stars looked more beautiful then ever, the moon was full, as if he knew.. Taking the golden ring from my pocket, I slipped it on my ring finger, clasping my hand around it, a warm feeling overcoming my body, as if he was still besides me, holding my hand. Kneeling besides the stone and placing a hand on his name, I said my last words to him as tears slipped down my cheeks...

"You brave, kind soul... You sweet, strong boy, you did so well, it's time to go home now."