Blonde and Brunette

I'm sorry

Thomas POV

  I've been with Newt for another week. Now we're officially together. I still have to like.. make a date, but still... I think Minho and Clint are together though, I can't tell.
   One night though. My dream got worse, so I formed an idea.
   Minho was talking about the grievers in the maze at dinner one night. He said that if someone got stung, they might be able to remember things before the maze. Like what happened with a guy named Chris long before.
So the next day, naturally, I decided to go running with Minho. He woke me up early, and I kissed Newt's forehead goodbye, who was still asleep, and went with him.
"You Ready Shank?" He asked, his arms crossed.
I nodded and followed him in. My plan is to stay out here late, maybe all night and get stung. Then I can remember more about my dream.. or before the maze.
  We kept running for hours and I realized just how out of shape I was. Heaving a huff, I followed after Minho, who's barely breathing heavy. Fortunately for me, I see a griever and make sure to separate from Minho, following it. It notices me and turns on me. I hear myself scream as I hightailed it back towards where Minho went. I've never seen one up close before, so the size along with the horrendous smell coming from it terrifies me. Maybe this plan was a bad idea..
   The hideous thing is almost like a spider, along with massive metal arms which spun like blades. It's tail was similar to a scorpions, with a sharp tip that was probably filled with venom. It chased after me left and right, and finally cornered me in a corridor. It came right up to me and tried to jab its stinger into my chest. Bracing for it, I felt the stinging pain traveling through my body. A scream sounded out from in front of me and I measly looked up to see Minho stabbing the griever in the fleshy part of its body. It's all I saw before the darkness overtook me.

~Flashback~

It's long before the maze... I'm in a room with 2 girls. One looks familiar, but the other is older. The dark haired one is typing on a computer, while the other is watching her. The dark haired one turns to me and says,
"You Ready Thomas?"
I-me-it nods. But it's not me, it's a younger me, and it nods and walks over to a kid and pulls a lever, it goes up and disappears. I gasp and then it disappears into darkness.
"Thank you Thomas, your helping the cause."
She smiles and walks off.

Then it changes, it's a city, I'm standing in a plaza.. and I look around. Then I turn and see a body laying on the ground. I can here gunfire and screaming in the distance. I run over to the body and look at it, to scared to touch it. I back up as it jumps and attacks me. But I can't see the face. It's all blurry, and I don't know why. It shoves a knife towards my heart and I kick it off.
"Help! Someone! Get off me!"
I scream out multiple times. But there's nobody around. I kick it off and stand up, then it clears up, and I can see the face.... it's Newt.

~End Of Flashback~

I scream myself awake, drenched in a cold sweat once again. Newt poked his blonde head into the room and immediately pulled me close.
  "Shh.. Tommy your okay.. It was just a nightmare."
I wipe my forming tears and wrapped my arms around his thin waist. Looking outside I could tell that it's still light out. I mustn't have been out long.
"I-I'm Fine... just a Dream."
"Looked more then a bloody dream.." He said softly, laying me back down and tucking a woven blanket up to my neck. "Whatever it is, I'm sure it's not real."
I nod, mostly to let him leave me alone, and curl up. "I'm okay Newt.. just.. let me sleep please.." I asked quietly, looking at him.
  "Sure.. rest up, I'll check on you later." He said, closing the quickly made door behind him.
  But I don't sleep, I don't even move. I stay in this paralyzed position for a while as I process the vision, the pain in my chest. Finally, I close my eyes, and it all goes blank.

  Then something snaps in me. I feel angry, miserable, tired and exhausted.. and I don't know why. I feel myself get up and grabbed a dagger laying on the table besides the bed. Flinging the door open, my body controlled itself, as I walked down the glade straight towards the gardens. It's as if I knew what I had to do. I went right up to Newt.
   "What's wrong Tommy?" He asked innocently, looking up at me with sad eyes.
I glare at him, and grab the knife out of my back pocket, gripping it as if my life depended on it.
"Tommy..?" He asked quietly, taking a step back. I take one forward.
"Thomas, put the knife away.. please." He begs softly, holding both arms out in surrender.
I stop and look at him.. I can see the fear in his eyes. But I can't stop, I race forward and tackle him.
"Thomas! Stop!" He yells, fighting me off to the best of his ability. I glare death rays at him and try to stab him in the chest.
"Thomas! Stop! Please! Minho! Help!" He screams, holding my wrists away from his body. I'm unfortunately stronger than him, so I pinned him down, my hand involuntarily forming a fist and punching him hard.
"Thomas!!"
I hear a slash of the knife and I hear a cry of pain and something being cut. I.. me.. it.. doesn't focus and keeps punching mercilessly. He then goes silent and I'm being dragged away by Alby and Minho, struggling to get away from them.
"Thomas! What the hell!" They scream, dragging me to the homestead and pinning a screaming me down on a bed. Eventually I stop thrashing and Minho runs off, Alby staying behind and keeping an eye on me. Whatever happened, left my body and I'm back to being me again. Thank griever Alby was stung before and is back to normal..
  I retract my thoughts and actions, then it hit me. I attacked Newt. Within a second, I had kicked Alby away from the door and raced to the med-jack hut. Minho had be down within seconds though, and I fought to get free from his grip.
"Stop it Shank! Stop!" I tried to fight him off, but gave up and laid underneath him like a rag doll, finally he let me up.
"What happened?! What did I do?" I asked panicking, my eyes begging for answers.
Minho crosses his arms and looks at me like he wants to kill me as Alby ran in after.
"What did I do?!" I yelled, wanting to go inside the closed off room in front of me.
Minho heaved a sigh and Alby nodded from behind, letting me inside. I go in, breathless and scared, trying not to cry. I move past Clint and see Newt, passed out on the bed, a deep cut dragged across his chest, along with a black eye and bruises all over.
I burst into tears, my heart nearly breaking in pain. "Did I do that?!!"
They both nod solemnly and I ran outside, collapsing by the map room and crying my eyes out. After dark I collect myself and trudged back to the hut. Curling up next to him and stroking his hair, I promised myself I'd never hurt him again. I can't believe I did this... I can't forgive myself.
   I stayed with him all night, then the next morning I got up before everyone did, long before dawn. I kissed Newt's lips gently and whispered quietly, "It'll be better without me, I love you and always will."
I went to the maze walls, grabbing a knife on my way and watched them open. I put my plan into motion and climbed them, I climbed those walls like there was no tomorrow.. because there wasn't one for me. I got halfway up before I was exhausted, every limb screaming in exhaustion. I clung to the ivy and watched the sun come up, knowing it would be the last sunrise I ever see. I stayed up there until I heard a few people get up and started getting to work. I watched Alby wake up and look for me. He walked over to the maze with Minho and unfortunately saw me.
"THOMAS! GET. DOWN. HERE!" They yelled at me for a full half hour. I don't want to die.. no I do... or do I? I don't know! I start crying when I look down at the height. God it's high... I slide down a little, making Alby believe I was coming down. Then I thought of me hurting my boyfriend, the love of my life, my everything....
   I hitched a breath, closed my eyes and let go.

  Newt POV

  I jolt awake in the bed at the med-Jack hut, and huff to see Clint and Minho watching over me.
I sit myself up with effort and groan in pain. "Ow, the bloody hell?"
"You've been out for a while Blonde." Minho said quietly, his face lined with worry.
I felt myself let out a sigh and hugged the blanket gently. "Where's Thomas?" He's always around with me.
They both shake their heads. "Haven't seen him since yesterday." Minho admitted, frowning.
"Minho go find him." Clint says, helping me get up.
"I have to find him." I say as Clint helps me walk outside, because my rib is broken. I can hear Minho and Alby yelling from the distance, and Clint helps me over to them. I Look up to where they're yelling and I see Thomas leaning over the edge.
"TOMMY!" I yell at him. He looks at me and mouths 'I'm sorry' an let's go. I push Clint away with all my strength and go over to his body, which got caught up in the ivy as he landed on his leg..  a horrible sound on impact.
"No, no Tommy, stay with me! Please!" I begged his lifeless body, as Clint tried to pull me away. I shoved him off, kicking and hitting him, ignoring the pain in my own body.
"He's loosing blood." I said quietly, pulling off strips of my shirt. "Someone get me a knife and syringes and a splint!"
Alby nodded and ran to get me the stuff. I slice my wrist with the dagger and use the needle to suck it and injected him with it, stopping the bleeding from his head and legs.
    When the bleeding finally stops, I help them carry him to the hut and Clint snaps back the misplaced bones. I shuddered with every sound and wiped any stray tears quickly. Clint said that luckily he landed in a way that only his leg snapped and not anything life ending. I couldn't stop crying as he talked.. and I never left his side. He may even kill me, and I'd never leave him. No matter how many times Clint and Minho try to make me leave.

The days pass, he still hasn't woke up. I haven't left, haven't eaten, haven't slept, I can't, knowing he's like this. Luckily Minho's been sticking with me a lot. He's such a good friend.

A week later and he wakes up. I was awake, as usual, drawing his face, crying silently. His groans snapped me out of it. "N-newt?"
I looked up at him, and his eyes grew wide. "I-I'm not dead?"
I shook my head, rage boiling my blood, he has the audacity to hurt me, and then try to kill him self? Not on my watch. "No your bloody alive." I snapped, putting down my book.
He sighed deeply and scoots away from me. "Don't come near me, I might try to kill you again."
I put the book onto the table and huff, "It's ok Thomas, I'm not mad. You were stung."
He looks down and nods. "I know, I purposely did it."
I glare at him, keeping back tears along with hurtful words. "You... what??"
"I purposely got stung. Maybe I could remember things before the maze. But instead I almost killed you.... I'm so sorry." I felt all the rage melt away and I pulled him into a hug.
"Don't be sorry, you couldn't control it." I said quietly, although I was still a bit angry with him.
He hugs me back and I asked him quietly, "Did you want to die...?"
He nods slowly. "Because I hurt you so many times... I couldn't live with myself anymore. I can't believe I almost killed you. I mean look at you.. You have a gash from the knife, a black eye, broken ribs, and so many bruises, from me, Newt.. Me."
I sigh and tucked him in a bit. "Yea But...."
He cut me off. "No buts, it's all my fault, this, the maze, you guys being put here... everything."
I look at him confused, my mind running circles. "The Maze? What do you mean?"
He tears up, hugging himself. "I did this to you. I made the maze."
My stomach dropped into my feet, and I looked at him in complete shock. "Y-you?"
He nods, tears falling down his face as I gingerly wiped them. "With help, from a girl, I saw her. But didn't get her name."
I frown and wrapped my arms around my knees. "It's okay.."
"I guess. But I can't forgive myself. Plus I'm bloody crippled." He chuckled a little and I grinned at his slang.
"You stole my bloody lines."
He cracks a grin. "Yea I guess I bloody did."
We both smile and he takes my hand, pulls me over and cuddles me tight, kissing my face all over.
"I love you Newtie, I promise to never do anything again, and I promise to stay here with you.. as long as you stay with me." I smiled and curled up in his arms like a baby.
  "I'll stay with you, as long as you do."
  I gave into it and finally slept for a while...