Blonde and Brunette

I love you

Thomas POV

It's the fifth fucking day walking, and everyone is exhausted. I'm still not talking to Newt.. he's wrong.. I didn't mean it, but he was spying on me! That wasn't right...
  We walked... and walked... and walked.. All there was... was sand, sand, and more sand all the way. Since Winston died, everyone has been really silent. Only Minho and Aris chatted quietly in the back of the group.
We came across a straggled group of people on our way through a town earlier. Minho gave them a little food we could spare and some water.
We decided to walk as far as we could during the day and rest only in the early hours of the day. It was getting dark when we found a spot that was covered by slabs of concrete.
Teresa and I stayed close together... some... connection growing... and heard the rest of the group sit and someone made a fire with a lighter we brought with from WICKED and sticks they found buried in the sand.
"I hate to say this... but I miss the glade."
Fry said quietly.
"Dido man." Minho said softly.
The rest of us nodded and I looked over at Newt who was already fast asleep, in the most uncomfortable positions on a rock for a pillow. I sighed and felt awful for him... but also mad at him.  I noticed he was far from the fire so I dragged myself over to him and put my jacket over his bare arms. I sighed and looked down at his ankles. I pulled his pant legs down but saw that his right leg still was black and blue.
"Minho, C'here." I said quietly as the big lug came over.
"What? I was trying to sleep."
"What's wrong with his ankle?" I asked, pointing at it.
"Oh.... I was gonna tell you but I forgot... plus he asked me not to tell."
"Tell me what? Minho tell me." I was about to beg.
"He almost broke it again... when we escaped WICKED, when he fell and hit his head."
"Oh god... and he's still keeping up with us?" I whisper-yelled.
Minho nodded.
"Fuck... can't you carry me?" I asked
"Hell no, your way to heavy!"
"Am not, I have big bones." I said all huffy
"Dude I can't carry you without breaking my back. Plus, I don't know why the fuck you care anymore." He said, putting his own jacket over Newt and walking away over to Andrew, curling up on his chest.

I must have fallen asleep because when woke up when I heard noises and talking. I cracked an eye open and realized the sun was far overhead, and felt the soft sway of being carried.
"Newt.... Newtie?" I groaned, to tired to open my eyes all the way.
"What." He said, with almost no emotion.
"What time is it?"
I felt someone move, only for hair to tickle my nose. It was Teresa carrying me. "It's 3 Thomas."
"PM?" I asked, getting off her back and stretching.
    "If it was AM it would be dark dumbass." Minho said over the wind.
   I grumbled and got off of Teresa's back, walking side by side with her. I don't know how to apologize to Newt, what I should say... I'll talk to him later.
   We kept going all afternoon, only stopping later for some food and water. Now's my chance to talk to Newt alone.. so I got up and sat next to him.
  "Hey..."
  "Hey." He said quietly, getting sand out of his boots.
   "I um... I wanted to apologize.. I know your angry at me but please, let me explain."
   He was quiet so I took it as 'go on'. "I don't love her, now I know I don't.. I guess I was more... experimenting...?"
   He was quiet still, walking alongside me. "Please Newt, at least look at me."
   He did look at me, but his expressions were unreadable. "Go on."
   I sighed, "I love you.. not her.. I swear.. I didn't mean anything by it.. really."
   "So you being shy afterwards didn't mean anything?" His voice softened as he kicked the sand, "You never got that shy with me."
   "Because it was new.. and I've never kissed a girl before and... and.. I'm sorry.. I just don't want you to be mad at me and for.. us.. to not work."
   He finally looked at me, tears starting to swell a bit. "You didn't mean it?"
   I nodded, stopping him and wiping his tears with my thumb. "I never meant it.. if you want... I'll never even be alone with her."
  "Are you sure you don't love her...?" He asked quietly, looking at me.
   "Yes, I don't love her."
   "Don't lie to me Tommy." He said almost sternly.
   "Really, I don't love her..." I added, "Baby come on."
   "Shut up and start walking." He said, walking ahead of me, but with a smile.
  "Fuck, I love you Newt."

   We finally stopped that night, and Newt was talking to me again, although Teresa didn't seem to happy about it. I did hear her apologize to Brenda, and they sat together talking off in the background, Fry was talking to Minho quite loudly, but soon it turned into an argument.
"I hate this place!" Fry yelled, "The glade was better than this shit! So many people have died! And for what?"
"Dude calm down, we're out of that cursed maze? Aren't we? We still have some people! Your ass is still alive!" Minho argued, standing up.
"I rather be dead!" He said, standing up as well. "Knowing we're probably all gonna end up just like Winston, or we all die from starvation or dehydration! Newt's barely eaten anything in two days to save food for Thomas, Min, you're being selfish and taking as much as you can get! Teresa's useless with her shotgun wound and next, we're all gonna be attacked by cranks again!" He spit out angrily, "Thomas or Brenda has no fucking clue where we're going! It's his fault we're out here in the first place! We're all dead!" He stormed off into the night, cursing the day away.
"You haven't been eating?" I asked Newt quietly, looking at my short blonde haired boyfriend. But a glare from those dark eyes made me think twice about asking him anything for the time being. I sat back down, with everyone else, while Newt tried to calm Fry down.
I guess it worked because he came back quite quickly and grabbed some water.
 
"Frypan's just letting out some steam..." He said softly, limping over to me and sitting on my left.
   I sighed and looked over at him... "Yea.. But he's right, I'm the reason we're stuck out here."
    "No... no your the reason we're free. The others may have their doubts and that's fine but... they will follow you anywhere."
    "They'd follow you too." I insisted.
He shook his head, a small grin on his lips. "No, it's different with me, you know that. And we all have our roles to play."
    "Yea, but... I really don't know where we're going... we're lost." I said softly, playing with the edge of my shirt a bit.
    "We've been lost before Tommy."
    "Yea But not like this." I said, intertwining our fingers.
    "There is a place... for us out there somewhere, I don't know where it is, but I do know an awful lot of our friends have died for us to get this far." He sighed, looking up at the stars. "And so we can't give up... You.. can't give up.... I won't let you."
   I smiled and laid my head on his shoulder. Maybe I wasn't such a screw up at all.