But the bed was empty, and he wondered what it would be like to actually wake up next to the other for once. To open his eyes and have Jungkook be the first thing he saw. Wondered if those same tingles he felt within his chest at knowing how the other had cared for him would be the same, or if they would only grow in intensity.
Slipping out from under the covers, he glanced down at his feet, expecting them to be bare, only to find that they were encased in a pair of nearly thigh high socks that had been buried deep in one of his drawers. How was it that Jungkook was capable of finding out every single one of his embarrassing secrets?
And really, what made them so embarrassing? So he liked the way his skin felt when it was smooth. So he liked making sure that it was soft and cared for. So he liked wearing pretty panties and long, soft socks and somewhere there was a pair of booty shorts that he was honestly shocked he hadn't ended up in.
Crooked fingers moved through messy strands as he made his way out of his room, sighing as he glanced towards the other two, suddenly missing Taehyung's gentle presence more than ever. At least then there had been someone there. Someone to wake up to. Another living, breathing thing that made him feel like he wasn't so alone.
Maybe it was time to consider adopting a pet. But with his luck he would get some grumpy little thing who wouldn't love him either.
Jungkook was no where to be found, and as always there was absolutely no remnants of his left behind. No, all the proof he had that the other had ever once been there at all was a particular shelf in one of his cabinets filled with different snacks. And a little portion of the fridge filled with banana milk, because apparently the other couldn't live without it.
His feet and legs ached, and for the first time he honestly considered asking someone else to cover his shift. Somehow working nine straight days in a row had seemed much less daunting when he had initially agreed. Now starring down the other end he realized his own folly.
Halfway through texting Taehyung and calling in one of the many favors he was owed - half of the extra shifts he had ever taken on were his. Half of the time he wondered why Taehyung even bothered having a job to begin with. His family came from money. It wasn't like he actually needed it.
It was judgmental, and he knew it. His family was far from poor, not quite well off enough to never have to worry or work for what they had, but not exactly struggling. It was judgmental and jealousy and those two things were dark and ugly. Sometimes he wondered if that's what had caused all of this. All of his suffering. If he had done something to deserve it. If he truly wasn't a good person. If he was too harsh, too quick to form an opinion. If his heart was just rotten down to the core.
But there was no way he was going to make it through another shift. Not when he could barely stand up long enough to make coffee. Not when his back was screaming at him and he wondered if he hadn't injured himself in some way. Pulled something to have it be so angry at him.
Shockingly Taehyung actually agreed. Told him not to worry about it and try to rest for once. Working himself to death was going to get him exactly no where except lowered into his grave at a devastatingly young age.
Jungkook was gone and he was alone and his entire body ached. Yet his fingers moved over the screen, typing out a simple 'thank you for last night daddy', before second guessing himself. Teeth sunk into his lower lip as he considered, before opening the camera app and lifting the device above his head.
It was barely fifteen seconds worth of video. His voice still slightly raspy from sleep and disuse and dripping honey sweetness. Whispering 'Good morning daddy' before those lips puckered so perfectly, leaning inwards and perfectly imitating the kisses that Jungkook always seemed to want.
'For taking care of me last night.' It was quick and simple, and he sent the message along with the video, before backing out the second it was confirmed as being sent. Like it had been far too risky and he didn't want to see the end result.
He didn't. He didn't want to see the end of this. But he knew it was coming. Weather it came sooner or later was still to be determined. And his heart already ached at the thought.
...
It was afternoon by the time he resurfaced, the heavy drag of sleep no longer keeping him in a choke hold. Felt himself come around slowly, like a thick fog had settled over him and was taking it's sweet time disappointing. But then it cleared, and he was left staring at the clock on his bed side table, sighing at the way his morning had been wasted.
Dragging himself out of the warmth of his covers was almost painful, and looking down, he realized he didn't want to actually change out of the clothes he wore. They were so soft and comfortable and Jungkook had chosen them, and he really did not want to think about how much that particular fact was playing a role in his reluctance.
But he slipped them off, carefully piling them into the hamper - and a small smile crossed his features as he noticed his clothing from the night before already there. Pulled on fresh panties - white cotton trimmed with lace in the boy short pattern, enjoying how they offered more coverage while still making him feel sexy. Tight leggings and another tee shirt, paired with a dark purple hoodie that felt like he was being wrapped in soft warmth.
His phone had been left on the island in the kitchen, a fact he only realized when he went to grab it to actually order himself food instead of going through the motions of making it. There were an inordinate amount of text notifications, and he sighed as he slid his thumb across the screen, bringing down the menu to see who they were from.
Every single one was from Jungkook. And something inside of his chest clenched painfully tight at the preview for the last one, his heart practically stopping.
He didn't even bother reading them. Just put the phone back down. Briefly considered smashing it into a million pieces before deciding against it. Felt so numb that he could barely even describe it. Just went through the motions of grabbing his keys and wallet and walking out. Actually considered just driving until he ran out of gas and then never looking back. It seemed like a far better option than sticking around and facing the mess he had created for himself.
Then sticking around and facing the end.
