There was another hole in his drywall.
And one that had been made to match within his heart.
Stepping back inside the apartment felt like contaminating a crime scene. And maybe it would have appeared that way if the evidence hadn't already been swept away. Gone was the warmth that had once radiated from the interior, the welcoming feeling of coming home. Now it just felt cold and sterile, like a room that had been filled with his belongings, but like he didn't actually belong within it's walls.
There was a sense of caution in his every movement. In the way he closed the door so gently, as if he was attempting to make the action completely silent. And he felt more than saw the presence that should have made him fearful. Should have made him want to turn on his heel and run as fast and as far in the other direction as he possibly could.
But he didn't. Because it was the only source of light in the cold, bleak darkness. The only thing that kept him coming back. The only thing that made him want to keep going.
There he sat, stock still, like some sort of statue formed out of black marble. Knees bent, sharp elbows resting on thick thighs, hands covering that gorgeous face. He didn't even look up at the sound of footsteps reverberating through the silence. Allowed himself to be moved as hands came to rest on strong shoulders, pushing back until he could lift a slender leg and bring his body across the other's in a straddle. Let those lips descend on his own and took the entirety of seven heart beats to respond. To finally kiss back. To let strong hands go to wide hips and tighten, like his entire world was being held within his palms and he refused to ever let go.
"Tell me what happened?" Because there was a story here. One that he was missing so many pieces of. And he desperately needed to know. Had so many questions that currently had no answers and it was currently driving him crazy.
"You'll think I'm a monster." Probably already did. And there was no actual denying that he was. That there was this dark, ugly pit that well inside of him, filled with vile evil that he couldn't control.
"I think you were trying to protect what's yours." Jungkook was a monster. He was so painfully aware of that. And he wondered what it said about him that he was so willing to accept that. To continue to love him anyway.
"Seokjin." Part of his brain - most of it, wanted to give in. To simply accept that Seokjin was entirely and completely perfect for him. That he had finally found someone who would actually accept the lengths he was willing to go through for them. But that wasn't the truth. And he knew it. "I'm going to destroy you."
"I know." He had known since the very first moment. That all of this was leading to his own demise. That it was going to leave him broken and battered on the floor. Would suck him dry until there was absolutely nothing left. "But I still want you."
"Why?" There were hands, on his cheek, on his throat, wrapping around and tightening, and for once he felt it. Knew what it was like to be on the other end. Felt those fingers digging into his flesh and knew that he would be the one to carry the marks of their mistakes this time.
"Because I love you." The hand that had previously been cupping the other's face went down, wrapped around a slender wrist and brought it up. Shifted until it was wrapped around his throat, forced the fingers to dig into his own flesh and finally felt like he could breathe again. "And I can't explain it. But I love this. I love your hand around my neck. I love your marks on my skin. I love what you're willing to do for me."
"Anything." Those fingers tightened, just a little, and he sighed at the sensation of it. How it made his heart skip a beat inside his chest. And maybe it should frighten him, knowing what those hands were capable of. Knowing that all it was ever going to take was one little slip for him to turn out just like Jimin.
But he loved that too.
"I'll do anything for you." And he loved that most. Having someone who would do literally anything for him. Because that's what he had truly wanted. Someone who would fight for him. Someone who would give everything of themselves. Someone who would love him so much they would literally do anything to keep him. "I love you. So much."
But this wasn't love.
It was obsession.
But it also wasn't obsession.
It was love.
And maybe that was okay.
"I love you too." And if he had meant nothing else in his entire life, if none of the words he had spoken had ever been true, then these were. The truth that he felt constantly resonating deep within his heart.
Their truth.
