Once upon a time, there lived a man who thought he knew who he was.
Who thought that he knew his own mind. Who thought he knew his own heart.
But they had both betrayed him and each other. Had tried to make choices that warred against one another.
The mind was a dangerous thing. Filled with knowledge and sense. And it constantly whispered that this wasn't right. That when the situation was measured against his worth, it didn't even come close to fulfilling the requirement. He deserved better. So much better than what he was accepting.
The heart was equally dangerous. Filled with emotions and reactions. And it constantly whispered that this was love. That this was all he had ever wanted. To be held tight against another's body and have those words whispered in return. To know that someone would do literally anything for him. To keep him.
And so the two fought, waged an invisible war that neither were ever going to be the true victor of. Because it was simply a matter of which would break first.
For a while, it seemed like it would be his heart. Like it just wasn't strong enough to withstand the onslaught that was coming from all sides. As if the pain from the splitting wounds and festering infection was going to be the end of it. Of him. And his mind had rejoiced then. Had celebrated the demise of his foolish affections.
But nothing was ever really over. And in the end, his heart had used that time to formulate a counter attack. Had used strategy instead of brute force. And in the end, it had come out on top. Had been revealed as the winner. The one true victor.
And maybe he had lost a part of himself in the battle that had been waged to win the war. Maybe little pieces of his own fragile sanity had slipped away, stripped slowly and painfully, until he could no longer see what was right and what was wrong about all of this.
If there was any solace to be found in the loss, it was that he was at least aware that to anyone else, they would both appear completely out of their minds. No one else would ever understand what they were to one another. No one else would ever look at them and see that they were two incomplete puzzles that had been fitted together to form one whole. No one would ever see the way they loved, fierce and completely.
No one would see and understand the things that Jungkook was willing to do for him. No one would understand why he enjoyed that knowledge so incredibly much. No one would see the marks on his neck and understand them for what they were.
Maybe he should have cared more than he actually did. Maybe he shouldn't finally have realized just how beautiful he was based on the colors that swirled over his skin. Dark blues and purples made him feel like the most gorgeous being who ever walked the face of the earth. Hand prints embedded onto the flesh of his hips and teeth marks cutting into his thighs, all hidden away beneath his clothing where no one would ever see. Little secrets like the scrap's of fabric he wore, meant entirely for the sight of one person.
Because he belonged to someone. Was owned by someone. And maybe that should have been frightening. Maybe his mind had been correct. Maybe he shouldn't want that.
But he did.
He wanted to be owned entirely by this man. Had given himself over to it so completely that there was nothing that could be done.
Maybe it was love. Or maybe it was obsession. Neither of them truly knew anymore.
Then again, neither of them cared.
...
Once upon a time, there lived a man who thought he knew who he was.
Who thought that he knew his own mind. Who thought he knew his own heart.
But they had both betrayed him and each other. Had tried to make choices that warred against one another.
The mind was a dangerous thing. Filled with knowledge and sense. And it was cold and it was calculating. Only ever considering himself. Only ever wanting what was best for himself. Willingly sacrificing whoever and whatever stood in the way of that being achieved.
The heart was equally dangerous. Filled with emotions and reactions. And it was warm and it was foolish. And it had been captured. Had begun a series of free falls so intense and so passionate that there was no way to stop it's descent. Had given it's self over to another seemingly without permission, until it was embedded so deeply there was no way to ever get it back.
That war had been vicious. Bloody and short and in the end, he wasn't even sure who had come out victorious. Maybe because his heart had literally beat his mind into submission. Had used brute force to get what it wanted. An endless campaign that would only end with one cowering and withering away in pain while the other stood strong and fearless.
And that too was dangerous.
That it was finally his heart that was controlling him instead of his mind. Because it was his heart that was acting out now. That was willing to do absolutely anything just to keep this man by his side. Another human life who had taken over his own so completely that cutting him out would mean losing too much of himself to even considering going on.
Their pieces had formed together into one cohesive picture and that was the beginning and the end of everything.
Sometimes he wondered if it truly was the love he claimed. Or if it was the obsession everyone else so clearly saw. Were either of them even truly capable of knowing the difference? And if they did, would either of them even care? If it was love or if it was obsession, did it even really matter? They were what they were.
Once he had spoken of their truth. That they belonged to one another. That there was not another human soul in this world or the next who would ever be able to lay claim to them the way they had each other. Because only they understood. Only they saw the truth.
That it wasn't love. And it wasn't obsession. It was both. So completely intertwined that it was impossible to separate the two. Because to them, they went hand in hand. Came right along with one another until they could no longer distinguish which one was right an which one was wrong.
Maybe because they were both right.
Maybe because they were both wrong.
Then again, neither of them cared.
