Felt the bed rise up to meet him, legs dangling off the edge as Jungkook's warmth attempted to disappear and he let out a desperate whine, suddenly clinging to him like a child. Like something within him didn't quite believe that he was real. Like something within thought the moment he let go the other would disappear and this would all have been nothing more than a dream. That he would be alone again. Lost in this own world of make belief.
And he couldn't handle that much disappointment. But there was a soft kiss being placed against his cheek and he felt hands gripping the edges of his heavy sweater and tugging. Felt the sharp sparks of relief when it was finally removed from his body, hand instantly going to his throat to unfasten the layers of gauze. His throat looked worse instead of better. He could see the reflection staring back at him from the full length mirror, fingertips tracing along the lines of bruises and the edges of wounds that he knew were going to scar.
Felt it as lips fluttered against the worse of it, and his eyes practically rolled into the back of his head. The pleasure and pain and pure soothing relief of it was almost too much. Felt those same hands unclasp his tight jeans, working them down over wide hips and thick thighs before letting them form into a pile on the floor.
Beneath was plain black cotton, a simple pair of boy style shorts that he had chosen for the fact that they were comfortable rather than sexy. That they would apply just the right amount of pressure to his incredibly sore butt, wouldn't irritate the hand prints that had transformed into bruises. Wouldn't hit the wounds on his thighs from where teeth had sunk in so deeply he was shocked he still had flesh there at all.
Last came the tee shirt, and he whined as the chilled night air hit his skin. Only for soothing warmth to envelope him the next moment, and he realized he was being practically drowned in one of the long sleeved shirts that Jungkook seemed so fond of. It came down to his mid thigh, and by the time he realized his legs were being moved, the long, fluffy black socks were already being slid onto his smooth skin.
Hands had curled beneath his chin as he simply allowed himself to be dressed, to be played with like a doll, until he was covered in the softness cotton he had ever felt. Until the other's scent was almost overwhelming and he realized Jungkook must have worn the shirt himself at some point during the day. It was too warm and too strong and he languished in it. Relished in the fact that Jungkook was taking such good care of him.
"Are you hungry sweetheart?" Was he? When was the last time he had even eaten? He honestly couldn't remember anymore. It had been some time that day, hadn't it? Or had that been the day before.
It had been the day before. When he'd had the take out with Hoseok. And the thought hit him like a ton of bricks.
How could he possibly ever attempt to take care of another person when he couldn't even remember to eat? When he couldn't even take care of himself enough to provide his own body with the fundamentals needed to sustain life? How could he ever be good enough for Jungkook when he failed so incredibly badly at such simple things?
"Yes." He had thought about lying, even if only just for a moment. Wanted to at least make himself seem the least little bit responsible and capable. But his stomach had growled, had betrayed him and given him away at that exact moment, and there could be no other answer.
"I thought you would be." Did Jungkook know about just how disordered almost every single thing in his life truly was? That it was a miracle that he even managed to drag himself out of bed at roughly the exact same time every single day?
That some days he didn't even manage it at all. Because if there was no Jungkook, there was no reason to actually make an effort. Work was something that was required of him, a task that he had to complete to continue living. But Jungkook was the source of his happiness. The only true one.
"Be a good boy and stay here for me." Losing Jungkook felt like a piece of his soul was being ripped away, and he couldn't stop the whine that slipped out. Sighed as it brought the other back, as those lips pressed against his forehead, whispering that he would be right back. That he just needed to heat up the food he had gotten for them.
And he tried to be a good boy. Tried to wait. Tried to watch what the other was doing through the open shelves of the fake wall. But he had to keep ducking and turning and twisting and finally he had just given up, pushing himself up to stand and limping his way into the living room, curling up on the sofa just in time to have Jungkook glance at over at him.
"You're not listening very well tonight." But it hadn't exactly been an order. He knew the difference. Knew when he absolutely had to listen or the punishment would be swift and unpleasant. Knew that this hadn't been that. That it had been more of a suggestion. And he looked up, those dark eyes wide and soft.
"I missed you." He felt so incredibly clingy, and something inside of himself said to stop. Said that it was too much. That this was the exact thing that always made Jungkook pull away from him in the past.
"Such a needy baby." And those words made him freeze, despite how amused they sounded. Like maybe he really had taken it too far. Like maybe he really was being too much. "I missed you too."
