"But -" His mind was screaming at him. Telling him to stop. To keep his fool, rogue tongue in check. To not allow his heart to take control. To not say what was threatening to come out. To force it back and down his throat until it hardened and became lost. "- our truth is that I also belong to you."
Silence.
So much silence.
And during that silence he was certain he forgot how to breath. Was certain he didn't even remember what air was. Because Seokjin was his air, another truth that he wasn't ready to accept. That he was never going to be ready to accept.
It was only when they reached the street across from Seokjin's tiny little apartment and he found an open space wedged between two little compact cars, shifting it into park and killing the engine that he realized why.
Tears.
There were tears. Streaming down Seokjin's face and he didn't know how to deal with them. Felt like each one was a crystalline shard cutting directly into his flesh. Slicing into his heart and leaving gaping, weeping wounds in their wake.
"Baby." He hated his own voice in that moment. Hated how soft it sounded. Hated the way he reached across the center console, fingers moving over the buckle of the seat belt, quickly releasing it before wrapping his arms around the other, dragging him and close as he could get. Hated how easily Seokjin came along, like he was nothing more than a pretty doll who had been created simply for him to play with.
Hated how long he sat there, quietly stroking his fingers through soft, dark hair. Hated the way he didn't even bother to count down the minutes.
Hated how in all of his life, he could take anyone's tears. They were nothing to him. Droplets of water that were created by someone's eyes. A product of wasted emotions.
He could take anyone's tears.
But he couldn't take Seokjin's.
"Please don't cry." It was so much like begging. So close to it and he hated that to. "I can't take it."
"I'm sorry." It was weak. Thin and weak and he felt the other shift, push himself up and wiped the back of his hands across his cheeks. Pressed his palms against his eyes for a moment before moving quickly, shifting to grab at his bag and grasp the door handle, pushing it open. "Thank you for the ride home."
"Hey!" His finger hit the automatic button to roll up the windows, waiting until the action had completed before reaching for his own door, pushing it open and jumped out, thumb pressing against the button on the key fob before coming around the front, trying to rush and cut Seokjin off.
But he was too quick. And he had to run to get in front of him, standing in front of the glass door which lead into the little landing. "I meant what I said. You belong with me."
"Jungkook." Seokjin sounded so incredibly tired. Like all of the fight had gone completely out of him and that there should have been that thrill of excitement. But all he felt was this strange longing. Deep and wild and growing inside of him like a weed.
"Please, sweetheart. Let me come with you. Let me take you to bed so I can hold you." Why was that all he wanted? For his arms to be filled and for the tremendous weight of his own emptiness to be lifted, even if only for a moment? Why did it feel like he would collapse right there if he was denied?
"Will you stay? Will you still be there when I wake up?" He always said he would. Always promised. And he never did. Was always gone before the other even opened his eyes. Sure, there had been a few times he had kept that particular promise.
"Yes." It came out so easily, an agreement he knew he shouldn't have made. But he wanted that. Wanted so desperately to wake up and see the other laying next to him. Wanted to feel his warmth pressed in close. Wanted to take him in his arms and hold him as the early morning sun danced across them.
"Are you gonna want your shirt back?" It didn't even sound sheepish. Just as playful as it could possibly be given the atmosphere that currently surrounded them. But the door was being opened, both physically and metaphorically, and he stepped through it. Stepped out of the darkness and into the light and he felt something shift. Felt something change that he desperately did not want to think about.
"It looks better on you." There was nothing special about Seokjin.
Because everything was special about Seokjin.
And he fell deeper in love every single second he spent in his presence.
Following the other up the two flights of stairs felt like a drag. No longer possessing the energy he had earlier. And he recalled in that moment that he had failed to mention that particular stunt. Silently glared at the doors of everyone who had witnessed it and mentally cursed them into silence.
Watched as Seokjin bent over to removed his shoes, and had to bite his lower lip to keep from groaning at the sight of his ass so prominently displayed. Watched him crawl across the bed, peeling back the covers and sliding beneath them, before holding up the opposite side in invitation.
Slipped off his own shoes and unfastened his belt, fingers working over the clasp of his jeans, stripping down until all that remained was his boxers, body bare, toned, tanned skin perfectly on display. Smiled at the soft little sigh that the actions earned him, before lifting himself into the bed, taking up his rightful place. The covers were warm, a welcome relief against the chill of the night. And his arms itched to take the other into them. To wrap around him and draw him in, to tuck his head beneath his chin, to breathe in the fresh scent of his hair.
And that's exactly what he did. Sighed out his pleasure and buried his nose in the silky softness. Didn't even bother to speak when the quietest little good night slipped out of his baby. Only sighed softly in return, letting his eyes fall closed and sleep over take him.
And that night he dreamed of flowers. Of a garden in full bloom.
And in the middle of it stood Seokjin, a crown of colorful roses surrounding his head like a halo. Seokjin, who smiled so beautifully as he turned, as his folded hands came open, and within them lie his still beating heart. As he lifted them, pressed them against his chest and the shoved the heart into the cavity where his own should have been. As he looked down and saw another resting within his own palms. And without even thinking, without even hesitating he repeated the action, breathing in deeply as the emptiness that had lived inside of him for so long suddenly disappeared.
As the emptiness transformed into love.
Because he had Seokjin's heart. It rested right there, safe inside of his chest.
And Seokjin had his.
That was their truth.
