"No." It came out as a harsh cry as Jungkook attempted to move, attempted to pull out and leave him empty. His walls clenched, legs tightened, suddenly desperate to stay full. "Stay inside me."
"Mm, you want to keep my cock warm baby?" He wanted to stay close. Wanted to stay full. Wanted to feel the other's heart beating against his own for as long as he could. Knew that when he woke up he would be alone and all of this would seem like some far away dream.
"Please." His own voice sounded so weak, so rough from over use. His throat felt raw and worn, his entire body strung out and tired. Like he didn't have the strength to resist whatever the other wanted. Didn't have the strength to resist as he was moved, shifted onto his side so carefully, the movements slow, that cock nudging against that spot inside of him and making him cry out. As one leg was hitched high over a hip, an arm coming beneath his head as a make shirt pillow. As the other wrapped around him and kept him so close.
"Stay." It sounded so pathetic. So desperate and sad. Even he realized that it was never going to happen. That he was asking for something he was never going to get. But the word slipped out before he could stop it, eyes watering with some unspoken emotion he wished he didn't feel.
"I'm not going anywhere Jinnie." Soft lips pressed against his forehead, against his nose and cheeks. Against his lips, a gentle caress that left him reeling. "Sleep now baby."
He didn't want to. Wanted to find some way to stay awake. To relish in these moments for as long as possible. To bask in this feeling. To know what it was like to be cared for. To be wanted. To be loved.
But he was so tired, and those dark edges were growing, until his entire field of vision was dark. Until he was falling into a dreamless sleep, blissful and deep. Until it didn't matter if he woke up alone, because at least he would have this memory.
...
He woke alone.
It was no longer the shock it had once been. No longer something that came unexpectedly. Yet it felt like his heart was being ripped out of his chest, the pain almost unbearable. Felt like the panic attack he had been fighting off for so long was finally going to win. Felt like the entire world was going to come falling down around him.
Then he shifted. Shifted and felt something inside of him. Something thick and solid and his hands grasped the edge of the covers he didn't remember drawing up the night before and pushed them away. Traced his hand along his stomach and felt the clean flesh where it had once been sullied. Moved downwards until his fingers nudged against his own cock, then moved south still, feeling the base of the plug peaking out from between his cheeks.
Forced himself up and glanced around, peaking through the holes created by the shelves in the false wall and saw how the mess from the night before had been cleaned up. How the trays were gone and the low table had been wiped clear.
But most importantly how the bag that had been slung over Jungkook's shoulder was still there, resting on one end of the couch, unzipped with his clothes messily piled inside.
Taking a deep breath, he forced himself to relax. Forced the panic down. Forced himself to focus. Trying to take in the sounds of the apartment, only to find that it was silent. Trying to reason with himself. That Jungkook wouldn't just leave his clothes. Wouldn't go through all of this just to walk out on him. Forced himself to try and focus on what he should do instead.
Focus points. Found himself moving on instinct, pushing himself up and moving across the room. Gathering his clothes and depositing them in the hamper. Going to his dresser and pulling out a silly little pair of white panties, black legging and a dark blue tee shirt. Moved into the bathroom and found that the shower was still wet, and that one of the towels had clearly been used. Sighed as he twisted the knobs and felt the water heat much quicker than usual. Stood beneath the spray and let it pulse down over his sore muscles, sighing in relief as it eased away the tension.
Reached back and drew the plug out of him, groaning at the disgusting sound it made. Grimaced as he was emptied out, come falling to the floor of the shower before being washed away. Went through the motions of cleaning the toy and putting it to the side, no longer having to worry about someone else spying it. Shampooed his hair and washed his body and felt far calmer for being clean. Dried off and rubbed on lotion, ran through his morning skin care and got dressed. Slipped on a pair of ridiculous fuzzy socks and smiled at how loose and comfortable he felt.
Opened the door just in time to watch as Jungkook slipped in the front, a cup of coffee in each hand, and a bag cradled next to his body. Smiled at the sight of it as he leaned back, resting his weight against the solid expanse, suddenly feeling far weaker than before.
"Trying to surprise me again?" Why did Jungkook have to do things like this? Little gestures that made it seem like cared? Things that he could twist around in his mind until they took on some different meaning?
"It never works out the way I want it to." Setting everything down on the low the low table, he stood up slowly, stretching his arms above his head and letting his eyes fall closed. "Did you see my note?"
"You left a note?" That was. Incredibly shocking. And honestly he hadn't even thought to look for one. There had never once been one before, why would that have changed now?"
"Next to the flowers." Tilting his head towards the place where the little makeshift vase sat, Seokjin followed with his eyes, until they landed on a little piece of paper. Snatching it, he read through it carefully, once, twice, before letting out a breath he didn't know he'd been holding.
"Went to get breakfast. Stay in bed and wait for me." Reading it out seemed kind of ridiculous. Just like how he was currently holding it against his chest, right over where his heart was beating so rapidly. "I'm sorry I ruined your surprise."
"Mm, I think I'm gonna need some kind of repayment." Something inside of him said that he shouldn't get used to this. That it was some one time thing. A fluke that would never repeat it's self. But it felt so good. So incredibly wonderful and warm and real and he wanted it.
"Name your price." What he was feeling had a name. He knew it did. But it was so rarely used that he had practically forgotten in.
"Let's start with good morning kisses and see how I feel after." Happiness. That's what he was feeling. Happiness.
"I think I can handle that." A soft smile played across his lips as he moved across the space that separated them. And it only grew as those arms reached out for him, opened and widened as he stepped forward, slipping between them. As they wrapped around him and his own lifted, came around the other's neck and rose up. As their lips met and it was electric, like lightning striking across the night sky. Like a spark of something that felt so perfect, so right. So real.
So close to what he wanted it to be.
