That was the end of it.
Until it wasn't.
...
Three days. That was how long it took for his resolve to wear down completely. Admittedly it wouldn't have taken that long if it hadn't been for Hoseok occasionally sending him tiny reminders to be strong. That he had this.
That he was a strong, independent Seokjin who didn't need no Jungkook.
Which was a direct quote. He thought briefly about taking that particular text and having it framed, hanging it directly in his line of sight so he could see it each and every single time he felt weak.
He was strong.
He was independent.
And he did not need Jungkook.
Those lines kept repeating inside of his mind, and endless cycle that he never let falter.
Until he made the mistake of accidentally pressing on the latest notification, opening the chat window and effectively showing all of the messages as read. Until he made the fatal error of actually scrolling back and reading through all of them.
He was strong.
He was independent.
And he did not need Jungkook.
Only maybe he wasn't quite as strong as he thought. Maybe he wasn't quite as steady and independent. And maybe he did actually need someone. Not Jungkook, because he was already well aware of how bad that particular vice was for him. But someone. Anyone who would make him feel the way those words did.
'Please answer the phone baby. Let me explain.'
'I just want to hear your voice. Please. I miss you, sweetheart.'
'Jinnie. Please. I know you know who this is. Come on. Answer.'
'Seokjin. I'm literally begging you. Please. Just give me ten minutes. Just let me explain.'
'I'm not with Jimin. I'm not going back to Jimin. We're done for real this time.'
'I meant what I said. I broke up with him for you.'
'Baby please. Do you want me to beg for you? Because I will. Just answer the phone.'
He was strong.
He was independent.
And he did not need Jungkook.
What he actually was is a liar. And the lies he told were thing and barely believeable. Because he was not strong. He was weak. Weak and frail and his confidence was failing so quickly. He was not independent. He needed to be needed. To be wanted. To have someone to care for. To be cared for in return.
And he needed Jungkook. Just someone, anyone wouldn't do. No, it absolutely had to be Jungkook. When and why his heart and mind had settled so completely on that one truth was impossible to know. But that's just how it was. He needed Jungkook. Desperately.
He knew he shouldn't. Knew that he should text Hoseok instead. Should tell him how weak he was feeling. How on edge he was. That he was about to do something incredibly stupid instead of simply doing it. Give himself a moment to think. To contemplate. To come to the conclusion that this was wrong. That this was wrong for him and it was wrong for them and he needed to be strong.
But those messages were marked now. Marked just like his skin, still carrying the faint outline of fingers embedded into his jaw. Marked like his heart, despite the way he tried to fight against it.
That wound had grown without him realizing. That cut had deepened and it was starting to blister, to fester, the infection beginning to spread until it took over everything. Until all of him was nothing more than a shadow of who he had once been. Until all of him belonged to Jungkook and there was no going back.
He shouldn't.
But he did.