"I will. I promise." His own hand lifted, long finger wrapping around the slender wrist that was currently resting upon his collar bone. Knew that there were going to be bruises left embedded within his flesh. Deep reds that would darken as time wore on. Could already feel the soreness beginning to set him. "Trust me. Trust how much I love you."
Silence. And for a moment the lack of coughing, of that ragged breathing terrified him. And he almost made the mistake of checking. Of looking to the sight instead of straight ahead. But his eyes remained, locked on to a set so dark they were nearly black, until the surfaces became mirrors and he could see his own fear reflecting within them.
"Okay." Permission, quiet and unsure. Like Jungkook was entirely aware of the mistake he may have just made. Like he knew what he had just lost.
But it was more than that.
It was the sound of someone's heart breaking in a single word. Was the sound of someone's entire world shattering, falling to the ground around them. Was the sound of a car crashing and catching on fire with them inside. With their love, with whatever was between them trapped. And the only thing that could put it out was Seokjin himself.
"Thank you." It was so soft, gentle, like he could somehow fight those flames back. Just a little. Just enough to save them both.
And he knew he might regret it. Because it could be that this would be the last one. The very last one that would ever be between them.
But as his eyes fell closed and he leaned forward, those lips red and swollen and so sweet pressing against their matched set, he felt it. Like a spark of clarity that had always been there, simmering right below the surface. Like a reminder of the innate knowledge he carried around inside of his.
This wasn't love.
But this also wasn't obsession.
It was both.
But it wasn't just one sided.
Because he was in it just as deep as Jungkook.
Was just as fucked up as Jungkook.
Was willing to do anything and everything just to stay by his side. Was willing to risk everything he was, everything that had ever meant anything, just to have this man for one more singular minute. Would willing tear his own beating heart from his chest and offer it up in sacrifice if that's what it took.
This wasn't a fairy tale, because those did not exist. And this wasn't some drama, written and directed until it was polished to perfection. Because those also did not exist. This was life. And they were two people, both broken and shattered and ruined in different ways, trying to fill in each other's missing pieces in some attempt to make one whole.
And that was what he wanted.
That was what he poured into that kiss.
All of those thoughts. All of those nights spent formulating dreams that were never going to come true. All of those moments with his phone in his hands, wishing for just one more text. All of those pictures that were still saved, that he would take out and look at when he felt like he couldn't go on anymore. Little reminders that he had something. And that something was worth fighting for.
Jungkook was worth fighting for.
So he poured that into the kiss too. Let his fingers tighten around that wrist until he knew it too would bruise. Left his own mark of the ownership he had claimed in return. Felt those lips part on a gasp at the action and knew that the message had been received.
That he would come back. That he had made his choice.
That he had chosen Jungkook.
And he would continue to chose Jungkook for the rest of his life.
No matter what tried to tear them apart. No matter what truths came to light.
He would never change his mind.
