Arranged to the Mafia King

57. Cries of Jun

|Gideon

I sat up in my bed, seeing Damian fast asleep. I sigh as I get up, checking and saw Nolan in a deep sleep. Amusing me, I left the bedroom.

I had a small nightmare, and now here I am at one in the morning. I usually don't have nightmares...but this one was about my father. Now I am afraid I won't go back to sleep tonight.

Right now I wanted something to drink...maybe some juice. I am tired of water - not going to lie. Though when I get there I saw Jun sitting at the counter.

I stayed still, seeing him wipe his eyes. It...broke my heart as he cried by himself. Could hear him sniff and try to be quiet. A glass of...juice near him too.

"Jun."

He flinches, and we make eye contact. His lips tremble more when he sees me. I walk to him and he starts to get up. Except I sat in the chair beside him, grabbing his arm.

"Jun come here, please." I say, and he avoided looking at me as he cried still. "Jun, I love you - tell me what's wrong."

I flinch at his abrupt actions, seeing him practically jump onto me. Hugging me tightly as he cried against me, his head resting against my chest. I felt...horrible as I heard my oldest son cry.

He clung to me as if he needed to be held. I found myself lifting him onto my lap, him almost curling up against me. I hugged him closely as I felt my own eyes water.

I have been very distant and I have been trying to figure out a way to speak with him. Except there came a point where there was no talking at all. I was a fool.

"Jun I'm sorry."

"I'm sorry too. I thought you really didn't love me anymore." He cried, and I shook my head.

"No...it's not you that is the problem. You didn't just come up with these thoughts, someone filled your head with them. I apologize deeply that I didn't realize that fast enough. The way you are treated now is unacceptable - especially with how I have been. I'm sorry Jun, I love you...you have and will always be my first son - and that won't ever be forgotten." I murmur to him, and he only cried harder.

I was holding him close and I almost rocked him as if he was a mere baby. I could tell he just...really needed to be held.

"Dad I am the reason someone died! How can you not be so mad at me? I was mean to you and Damian - even though he helped mom and you, when he didn't have to. I have been a jerk to everyone, you the most. I would be fine if you didn't love me anymore." He cried to me, and I shook my head.

"Jun no matter what you do...I will always love you. You were taken from your mom and me unfairly and with horrible reason. There's absolutely no reason why anyone should be upset with you because you listened to your mom, you only did what a child would do. Believe their parent and I don't blame you at all." I state truthfully.

I grin as Jun begins to calm a little, and I wondered if he was going to fall asleep. 

Though even if that was going to be the case - Sorrel was walking into the kitchen. When we make eye contact his eyes softened, but they looked heart-broken when he saw Jun. He rushed to us and when Jun realized he only cried more. 

I was uncertain if Sorrel should really be here. Except I didn't tell him to leave and I wondered if this was a necessary thing to happen.