Maria Maria | Oscar Diaz

55 - Clear Conscious

Oscar made everyone stay outside. He told them if anyone tried to come inside that he'd shoot first and ask questions later. 

I sat down at the dining table and folded my hands together. "Is this really necessary Oscar?" 

He nodded as he pulled my hands into his. "Hell yes it is. I want you to talk to me about what happened yesterday. Start from the beginning." I took a deep breath and exhaled. Then I nodded. "Okay." 

"Well after Rico made me leave the hospital with him he took us directly to that motel." I looked up into Oscar's eyes. He was staring at me intently. Not breaking his gaze. I could tell he was listening to every single word I was saying. "He never stopped drinking from the time we got there to, well." "I know", Oscar nodded. "Keep going baby. You're doing fine." 

I nodded slowly and took another deep breath. "Every day was the same routine. He would make me sleep right next to him. He said that he wanted to feel my body next to his. To make sure that I wasn't trying to run from him in his sleep. Then when he'd wake up he would start his rants about how much I hurt him by leaving him for you. How you would never find me and that I should give up hope about seeing you or Angelina ever again." I had to stop. I started crying and couldn't speak through the sobs.

Oscar moved closer to me and rubbed my arm. "I'm so sorry you had to go through that." I shook my head, "He was just trying to do what he did best. He wanted to mess you up mentally." I nodded, "I know. I tried to ignore him as much as possible." I wiped my eyes. "He just - he just said so many things about you." I nodded, "He's gone now. And what he said NEVER mattered."

I took another deep breath and nodded. "On that third day I was really afraid of what he was going to do. He hadn't eaten anything in over 24 hours. The only thing that he had put in his mouth was vodka. I had never seen him so drunk before. I was starting to get afraid that he was going to hurt me and himself." Oscar tightened his hold on my hands. "I was afraid he was going to kill me and then kill himself." Oscar frowned a little when I said that. 

"He started really getting more and more upset about the fact that I chose you over him. The fact that I left him to be with you. The fact that.." I stopped and looked at Oscar in his eyes. "The fact that I had a baby with you and not him." I wanted to stop talking. I didn't want to talk about everything that happened next. But I knew I had to. "Then he started to really act out. He started saying so many bad things about you. It was making me so mad. Before I knew it, I hit him in his mouth." Oscar's eyes shot open and his mouth dropped. "That made him really, really mad. I could see it in his eyes then. He was really going to try to kill me. So I tried to run. Before I could get the door open he slammed it back and grabbed me. He threw me down and I started to scramble towards the bathroom. The door was open and I could see all of his empty liquor bottles on the floor. I tried to claw my way into the bathroom but he had grabbed my leg. He was pulling me back towards him. Screaming at me." 

My hands started to tremble and Oscar tightened his hold again. "It's okay. He's not here Maria. He can't hurt you anymore." 

I nodded. "I couldn't get out of his grasp so I grabbed one of the bottles. I broke it on the door frame as he pulled me closer to him. Then once I was close enough, I stuck the broken glass into his neck."

It was like I was there again. I could see everything, feel everything, hear everything. All over again. I stabbed Rico in his neck with the broken glass. 

"Then I pulled it out, because I was scared that it wouldn't be enough to stop him. Then I did it again." I recalled what happened as I just stared out across the table. "I stabbed him in his neck again. This time there was a lot of blood. It just came shooting out of his neck and he moved away from me. He started placing his hands to his throat, like he was trying to stop the blood or hold it in. But nothing worked. Then he hit the door and slid down and then he stopped moving." 

I was trembling so hard and tears were streaming down my face. "He just stopped. His eyes were open, but he stopped." Then I focused in and looked back at Oscar. "I killed him Oscar. I killed him." He nodded, "You had to. It was either him or you baby. You were just defending yourself."

He pulled at my hands. "Come here." I got up from my chair and sat down in his lap. "You did what you had to do to live baby. Okay?" He turned my head to look at him. "You had to kill him. Or he would have killed you." 

I nodded. I know what he was saying was right. It just didn't help the feelings that I had. I watched him bleed out and die right in front of me. I think that image will haunt me for the rest of my life.

"Um, Maria. While we're discussing things, there is something that I need to tell you."

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What is Oscar about to tell her?

Do you think talking about what happened will help Maria?