Bangtan Imagine

Idols don't date (JK)

You had been dating Jungkook for a few months now and you weren't exactly sure what you were to him. You really liked him and enjoyed his company, but you were not in a relationship and he seemed to have no interest in forming one. You were starting to feel discouraged and were wondering if you should move on, it was starting to really affect you.

The band members were worried about Jungkook, he was very quiet lately and mostly kept to himself. Despite them insisting they were there for him if he needed to talk, he hadn't reached out to anyone. They figured that the time would come when he would open up, but he only seemed to get worse and they didn't know what to do about it anymore.

The maknae was sitting on the floor, laying against the wall with his eyes closed. He wondered if dating you had been a mistake as there was no future for you two. He felt bad for leading you on and in turn was hurt because he got close to you. He opened up and so did you, learning to care about you more than he probably should have. He was frustrated, in pain and scared because he had to bring himself to stop seeing you.

The next step would be to make the relationship formal, but he couldn't do that, it was not an option. He cared deeply about his hyungs and his career and with this contract there was no room for a girlfriend. Not without risking everything, this was not only about him, this was about six other people that would be affected by his decisions. He couldn't throw everything out the window, it wouldn't be right.

The logic of it didn't stop his heart from aching either. He didn't go out looking for you, but it just happened and he got carried away, then took it too far. By the time he realized, he was deep into dating you and now he had to cut ties. He kept beating himself up about how careless he had been, letting you develop feelings for him and letting himself feel anything for you. The thought of hurting you was more painful to him than anything he felt. He would endure his own pain, but he wished he didn't have to break you too.

Jungkook and you met up at the same spot as usual, he sat down at one of the benches at the park where you usually bought coffee. Holding a paper cup in each hand, he figured the least he could do was buy you the drink you usually got. He saw you walking up to him and smiled weakly, so did you, neither of you had a good feeling about this.

You sat down next to him and he handed you your coffee - oh, you got them in advance? Thank you, Kookie - you said taking it from his hand. He nodded and stared at his lap, he couldn't bring himself to do it. This happened every time he saw you and his heart broke a little bit more. He kept meaning to walk away, yet he couldn't manage to. He felt bad about prolonging any hopes you had, he felt selfish for failing each time. But you spoke up first to his surprise.

Kook, I don't know what you intend to get out of...whatever we have - you said nervously and he looked up at you with sad eyes, he could not talk about it, but he couldn't hide it. But if it's nothing more serious at this point, it's not what I want - you summed up your thoughts and stared at him waiting for his answer.

You really cared about him, more than you wanted to admit or you'd make this harder for yourself, but you knew his life wasn't compatible with what you wanted and he didn't seem to be intending to change any of it. You couldn't blame him for he had a one in a lifetime chance to do what he loved, but it still hurt that you had to let him go.

You are right - he began and pursed his lips trying to find his words - it can't be anything more. He paused once more, trying to pull himself together for your sake and his. We should probably go our own ways - he took a deep breath - there's no reason to keep seeing each other. He finished and felt his heart shatter and the pieces stab him all over his chest. His shoulders slumped at the tightness, as if sitting straight would hurt him more.

You nodded slightly irritated and deeply hurt, that's all he had to say after all this time. After appearing to be so thoughtful and caring, he didn't hesitate to tell you you're right and to leave already. He cared less than you thought from the looks of it. You stood up without a word and he didn't say anything, you started to walk away and he didn't stop you. With everything he didn't do the aching got worse and worse. You left without looking back.

He didn't look up, he lifted his hand curled in a tight fist and held it against his mouth as he choked a little. He pulled his bucket hat forward to cover his face a little more as he cried in silence bitterly. After a while he wiped his eyes and face with the cuff of his sweatshirt and got up from the bench to walk back to the dorms.

Jungkook picked at his dinner with his chopsticks, eyes fixed on the plate, but didn't eat any of it. The members talked animatedly around him as if they were oblivious, which was probably for the best, the maknae thought. However, Jin was observing him quietly, it was not like him to not eat, specially after a hard day of dance practice. When everyone finished, they got up and left their plates in the sink, then left. Jungkook was about to do the same when he was stopped.

Jungkookie, come help me with the dishes, please - Jin said even though he never washed them as he was the one who cooked. Sure, hyung - he said numbly and walked back to the sink with a blank stare. You dry - he said as he handed him the first clean plate, he nodded and took it staring off at nothing. Pay attention, you're going to drop the plates - Jin said trying to make him focus on him and not whatever was going through his head.

Yes, sorry, hyung - he said apologetically as he looked at the plate and wiped it carefully with a cloth to then place it on the counter. What's wrong with you, Jungkookie-ah? - Jin asked bluntly. I'm tired, it's been a long day - he answered feeling guilty about not being able to properly pay attention. The eldest held up his plate - no, for real, you didn't eat one bite of your food. What's wrong? - his voice softer now.

Jungkook ruffled the hair over his eyes trying to hide his glassy eyes. It's nothing, I will be okay - he replied as he piled up the plates, ready to put them away. In the meantime, you can talk to me about it - Jin suggested not taking no for an answer. He put the plates away in a cupboard and gestured for Jungkook to take a seat as he pulled out another chair at the table.

I was seeing someone - the youngest confessed feeling disappointed in himself and expecting the same from his hyung - but I already talked to her and it's over. Jin's eyes widened and he immediately scolded him - what have you done? Why did you do that? - he shook his hands exasperated. Jungkook looked up with big eyes, thoroughly confused.

-

To be continued...