Eyeless

Chapter 16:

Corey couldnt sleep.

No matter how hard he tossed and turned he couldn't sleep.

His heart pounded in his scared chest as he reached his shaky hands up to his hair and yanked on it. He was cold and sweating and not how he preferred to be. And he was freaking the fuck out.

He was in the middle of his room, not wanting to get back into bed, he was cold but he felt too hot and he was scared. He was fucking terrified to be honest.

He had kissed Joey. He had kissed his friend.

Hell he would have considered Joey a best friend at that point. Which was something he was really aiming not to do.

Fuck.

He had taken his almost drunk best friend and put an advance on him.

He was no better than...him. Shit...

And that thought made Corey's heart beat out his chest as he tried to even his breaths out.

But it wasnt even just that.

The horrible thought that he was a terrible person that was destroying his brain.

It was the rejection.

He thought joey talked to him as a joke, and now? He kissed him? What the fuck was he playing at? He was meant to have no friends and he hated that group they were definitely mocking him and now?

Fuck.

What was he going to do?

And what was Joey going to say?

He had looked at Joey as off limits but Joey came onto him. He had! Joey had to stay off limits for coreys own safety. But he didnt want that anymore. He wanted joey. And shit, this wasn't how it was meant to go!

Fuck, he couldn't say that. He couldn't but now Joey let onto his feelings, Corey wanted it too.

Fuck he truly was pathetic.

If Joey was anyone else he would have kissed him, taken him upstairs fucked him, left, and gone home and showered but he couldnt do that.... he couldnt. And Not to Joey.

But why was Joey so different?

Well?

Corey genuinely believed Joey was one of the only people who could actually trust in the cold bleak world of pain and nothingness, backstabbing and betrayal.

Someone who wouldnt kick him down, steal from him, someone who wouldnt spread anything they found out about him to others. Joey was the only trustworthy person he could think of that felt would respect him. It was weird because Corey wasn't trying to get close but now it had happened.

Joey was becoming a security point but what happens if that's ripped away from him?

No

No he had to tell Joey that he appreciated and was flattered that he was into him. But he didnt see Joey the same. He was just gonna have to tell him...

But he didnt want to.

He wanted someone in this cold world to love him. He needed someone. Girlfriends came and girlfriends went but... he didnt actually want Joey to go.

He pondered, as he picked around the skin on his hands.

Did he want to kiss joey again?

He thought biting his lip

Yes

He did.

Fuck.

Fuck fuck fuck.