Eyeless

Chapter 31:

Joey sighed as he walked to the table with sid.

Corey hadnt been in for two weeks.

Nor had Joey seen him once.

Or even heard him.

He felt so depressed if he was honest. He missed corey so much his heart ached. But he was emotionally numb at this point afterwards.

Seeing Corey's body and not knowing if he were alive or dead was keeping Joey up.

He lost interested in anything but corey.

And no one could do anything.

He had stayed off of school for a week from a "stomach ache." And sid had said corey had no come to class once.

Joey was wondering through, trying to avoid people in general and just talking. He hadnt even done any makeup or dressed up at all.

He started sitting with just sid for a couple days but they had barely talked. Joey just moaped.

Sid had finally convinced him to patch it up with everyone to try and get him to feel a little better.

Shawn looked him up and down as he approached.

"What do you want?"

Joey turned around ready to walk off as sid grabbed him.

Joey looked down at sids hand wanting to cry.

Corey would have hated that.

And thinking of corey made him want to sob into himself.

Joey turned back around

"Please..." sid begged

Shawn nodded as Joey sighed

"I'm sorry..."

"For?" Shawn asked

"I'm sorry for choosing you over my boyfriend...I'm sorry for not listening...the insults...everything. I'm sorry." Joey said flatley looking away

"You're forgiven." Shawn nodded

Joey sat down next to sid and played with his food.

He wrapped the spaghetti on the fork but felt too numb to eat like usual.

He remember how Corey would always play with his food and Joey didnt know if it was because he viewed himself as some sort of fat slut or because he felt as numb or more numb than Joey did there.

"You not hungry joe?" Jim asked

Joey shook his head.

Mick sighed "what happened joey?"

They all looked at him as Joey sighed

"He found out..."

They all nodded

"And he freaked...he told me things...things I cant repeat but sad things..things I dont even know..evil things happened to him. Hearing them made me want to die for him."

"What things Joey?" Chris asked

"Evil." Joey repeated "the worst crime in the world....I understand him more now because of it..but he didnt tell me happily. He told me because he thought he knew..I shouldnt even know it."

"We cant help you if we dont know." Mick said

Joey shook his head "no. This..I'm not going to. For him. No. But he said he was going to kill himself...and he really tried to." Joey felt himself start to cry "I held his body and we got him to the hospital...there was so much blood...and hes okay...but I havent seen him for two weeks.. two whole weeks."

"Oh shit...." shawn said "so he wasnt crazy...he was...in pain?"

Joey nodded as he sobbed "he was in so much pain, so much mental hell! and me coming into his life to be another person to fuck him over...I'm the bad guy here. I am. And its-"

"Ssh." Jim said pulling Joey into a hug.

He wanted to push him off like corey but he needed it as he sobbed into Jim's chest.

"I miss him so so much! every ounce of my soul! I love him! I really do!"

A few of them wanted to cry from the pain Joey was feeling.

He was Joey after all.

"And he hates me!"

"Did he break up with you?" Paul asked

Joey nodded as he sobbed louder as sid hugged him from the other side.

"Itll be okay Joey." Sid soothed

"Do you still have the notebook?" Chris asked

Joey nodded "I havent touched it...I'm giving it back whenever I see him next.. but he doesnt want to see me for a long time..."

"We can talk to him." Shawn offered

"He hates you guys." Joey sobbed "he though you wanted to hurt him. He feared you. And he didnt deserve it..he Is the nicest guy I've ever met. Hes so soft and strong and...and...and ill never have that again!"

"Joey.." jim soothed as Joey kept sobbing.

"How about we skip?" Shawn said "and we go to his house and you try talk to him and if it doesnt work we will all go to Craig's?"

Craig gave a thumbs up

"Hey at least he has the pool." Mick said

Joey kept crying "he wouldn't want to see me..."

"He might." Sid said "he may be feeling the same way and thinking he cant talk to you because you're upset with him."

Joey shook his head "you dont know him like i do."

"Joey we hate seeing you like this.." Paul said

Joey sighed "I guess we could try."

Jim wiped the tears under Joey's eyes "itll be fine Joey."

Joey nodded.

Jim smiled and Joey snuggled into him "I hate what I've done."

"You cant blame yourself." Shawn said

Joey took a shaky breath "okay...should we go?"

The rest nodded as they stood up.

They walked out the canteen as Joey grabbed his bag.

Shawn waited for him before getting close to his ear. "What did happen?"

Joey sighed before whispering into his ear what corey had told him.

Shawn's eyes went wide "holy shit!! no way!"

"Yes way..."

"Damm. The poor guy. No wonder he didnt want any friends or anything."

"Look please dont tell him I told you."

Shawn nodded "I wont even tell the other guys okay? It's a lot for one person to take in...and..uh despite what I said..I'm here for you Joey."

Joey smiled softly "thank you."

Shawn pulled Joey into a hug quickly before Joey could complain.

"I missed you." Shawn said

"I missed you too." Joey said hugging back