In Relationship with You

Chapter 23

Chapter 23

Love is blind. It is a famous saying from some. But I think, people said that because when you love someone, you tend to only look to that person's good side. Even after hurting you, you keep on coming back to that someone because you love that human.

We cannot judge people.

For some, it's stupid. Why would you still accept the person who wrecked you, cut you into pieces, and made you feel so small?

The answer is so simple: love. Because you love that person to the point that it keeps you blind to the things that someone had done for you.

Because no matter how bad it is, love will make you see things that made you love that person. You will only see good things until one day, if you get tired, you will find yourself stop loving that person who hurted you so much.

Love is complicated, actually. That's what I believe right now. There's no such thing to define love accurately. Because it's not about love, it's about the person you commit yourself to fall in love with.

"Oh, come on, Roseanne. Speak up! You are really acting weird since you came from retreat. Did they treat you so bad?" Lisa said.

We are eating now here at the cafeteria. It's our lunch break.

I rolled my eyes on her.

"I told you, I am fine. Maybe I am just tired up until now. I haven't been able to sleep well since the retreat that is why you see me like this. You are over reacting."

Liar.

I knew to myself what keeps me awake every night. After that confrontation with Jungkook, my mind always hunts me.

It's already Friday now and so far, not so good. Our first encounter was last Monday at our first class which he is seated beside me. It was really awkward but since we are really not talking to each other in public, it was fine. Except the fact that I can feel the tension between us.

The odd thing is about his Instagram messages. He keeps sending me messages but I chose to not reply. I only opened the chatbox to see the message.

Tuesday
jjk97 : Hi.
jjk97 : Is this weird?
jjk97 : Hope you are doing well

Wednesday
jjk97 : I'm sorry.
jjk97 : Look at this, it's cute :)

Then he sends a picture of a chipmunk. I don't know if he is teasing me or what but I am really about to reply a mad text to him. Good thing I could stopped myself in doing so.

Thursday
jjk97 : You look tired. Did you sleep?
jjk97 : Hello, Miss Roseanne.
jjk97 : Seen. :(
jjk97 : Good night.

Friday
jjk97 : Good morning :)

And that's the last message he sent me this morning. Usually, he always chats me when our class ended and when I am at practice or before midnight. He is so weird to the point that he still wants us to communicate with each other.

Well, I just can't. I cannot, right now.

I swear, I want to forget him. But how can I forget him when he is this annoying? He always occupied my mind. I always saw him everywhere—specially now that we are classmates.

Wherever I look, there's him. Even if he is nowhere to be found, things appeared that makes me thinks about him.

Just the fact the he is Lisa's cousin, I always think about him. It is because I am with Lisa all the time for goodness sake!

And even if he the bad things to me that night, I still... like him. He just made me like him even more. I hate myself, you know.

Because no matter how hurtful he said that night, I like him even more because I see what he was doing. He is protecting me from his self. His purpose of saying those things is to let me see the bad things about him.