Broken To Become Stronger

Chapter 32•~ Wisdom, light And Heart

                 Chapter•~32

     Wisdom, Light And Heart

                          28th August, 2020
      
                       *^*^*

When my heart became constricted and my paths became narrow I took my hope in Your pardon and forgiveness as an opening and an escape.My sins seemed very great to me but when I compared them to Your forgiveness I found Your forgiveness to be greater.

*Al-Shafi'i*

                      
                      •●•~•●•

They say if you find someone who encourages you to change to a better person, hold them close. Because you will need them for the rest of your life.But nobody ever said, what to do when you're paired with someone whose mere presence in your life is enough to deter you from living a cheerful life.

It's December early morning,the sky looked overcast and gray.There was a freezing chill in the air that made the shriveled up leaves clatter in the trees.The cold wind numbed her face. Hera tightened the shawl around her neck, pulling it up over her mouth to keep the wind away from coursing over her face.

The incident from last evening still stayed fresh on her mind.Her head couldn't bring her back to the reality of the present moment, it felt far away. She wanted to stay at home,curl up under the blanket and fall asleep.But it wasn't possible because then it would attract many questions from Ayesha and might even give an impression to Rashid that it's because of all that happened last evening,and that was simply not acceptable to her.She didn't want him to give the satisfaction of that realisation.

She wanted to get away from them,away from this house, away from everything! But she couldn't do that.

She didn't want him to see her fears,or doubts or ache, all of which were inflicted upon her. She couldn't bear anybody's sympathy.It would only want to make her scream even more.

Back inside her room she sat on the edge of the bed bench, knuckling the sleep from her sore eyes.She had a strong urge to curl up again and turn her back on the world but she fought it off and ambled towards the washroom to make wudu.

After praying faj'r she kept sitting on the prayer mat and spent another ten minutes in saying the morning adkaar, as per her daily routine.She inherited this habit from Sahra,who laid a great emphasis on morning and evening adhkar.After saying those words of remembrance of Allah she felt like all her affairs of the day were taken care of perfectly by Allah. As it is said,"Morning and Evening aḏhkār are like an armor.The more the aḏhkār the thicker the armor.The armor can get so thick that the arrow will return and hurt the shooter."

Since she came across this saying she never missed a single day without saying her morning and evening adhkar and honestly it gave her a great sense of protection throughout the day and all through the night.

She folded her prayer rug and carefully put it away.Heaving a deep sigh she went down stairs to the kitchen to fix some breakfast for herself.Because she left home early than any other member of the family and breakfast was not made by then so she preferred to prepare it herself to have something in the morning and carry the surplus as lunch.

"Ready to leave"? Asked Ayehsa as she walked in the kitchen,her hand holding prayer beads,as she slowly rubbed them.

"Almost...just have to dress up".She replied closing the lid of her lunch box.

"Okay you go get changed and I'll ask Rashid to drop you to the college."

Her words stopped Hera in her track.She lifted her head and looked at her with eyes of pain and doubt.