:🌸: ➤ 𝚂𝚊𝚒𝚘𝚞𝚖𝚊 𝚂𝚑𝚒𝚝𝚙𝚘𝚜𝚝𝚜

Shuichi Simphara

Shuichi: I'm going to help Ouma-kun take a bath

Tsumugi to Kaede: They're still "just friends", right?

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Police: I'm sorry sir, but I'll have to press charges against you

Kokichi: *starts hyperventilating*

Shuichi: *pulling out a glock* say that again bitch

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Rantaro: Tsumugi's chapstick tastes really good

Kokichi: O-oh... you two kissed?

Tsumugi: No, he was drunk and decided to eat it.

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Kirumi: You know Shuichi, you've been doing a lot of random stuff, but I think it would be better if you had, you know, a to-do list?

Shuichi: I already made one, it's one the fridge

Kirumi: .... This says Kokichi

Shuichi: Exactly.

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Kaede: Who else is kinda going through life like 'I just gotta get past this difficult week and then it's gonna be smooth sailing from there

Miu: Isn't it like every week for you

Kaede: Yes

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Kirumi: What does Kaito mean to you?

Maki: The reason why I wake up in the morning

Kokichi: That's s-so sweet

*5 AM in the morning*

Kaito: MAKIROLL HELP! SHUICHI WANTS TO BEAT MY ASS TODAY AND HE HAS A FUCKING CHAINSAW!

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Kaede: So tell me again why you 2 were kicked out of the movie theater?

Kokichi: W-well we were watching the T-Titanic, but Saihara-kun kept y-yelling diving scores as the passengers jumped o-off the boat

Shuichi: C'mon Kaede, even you have to agree the previous guy was a solid 8

Tsumugi: Wow, did he do a backflip or something?

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Police officer: I am pulling you over because you were trying to fit 3 people on a motorcycle

Kokichi, in between Kaede and Rantaro: W-wait, three?!

Officer: Yes, you three high schooler-

Rantaro: SHUICHI FUCKING FELL OFF?!?!??!

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Kokichi introducing Shuichi to his family

Mr. Ouma: Now, Shuichi, please tell us about your family

Shuichi: I have one.

Mr. Ouma:

Kokichi:

Mrs.Ouma:

Shuichi's uncle:

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Kokichi: Yeah, we a-are part of t-the LGBT+ c-community....

Miu: LARGE gays

Kaede: GORGEOUS lesbians

Shuichi: BEAUTIFUL bisexuals

Tsumugi: TOP-NOTCH trans

Random person: What's with the plus then?

Rantaro: It means these fuckos are extremely extra, anyways let me tell you what it actually means and not from these crackheads

(Don't take this one too serious)