:🌸: ➤ 𝚂𝚊𝚒𝚘𝚞𝚖𝚊 𝚂𝚑𝚒𝚝𝚙𝚘𝚜𝚝𝚜

I speak spork

I know that I've been making a lot of pregame chapters-

But who's counting-

_______

Rantaro: Y'know, sometimes Shuichi looks like a rabid animal

Shuichi: *foaming from his mouth*

Tsumugi: Ah- Let's make him the most sane person in the game then-

_______

Shuichi, running into the room: IT'S MISSING!

Kokichi: What's missing....?

Shuichi: THE LITTLE THING!

Kokichi, turning around to face him with a ball monokuma in his arms: What?

Shuichi: Oh, there it is.

Kokichi: You mean mY cHilD-?

_______

Kokichi, apologizing: qnq, :( , D: , qwq, ono, :"c

Rantaro: What's that?

Kaito: Remorse code

Shuichi: The fuq did you do?

_______

"Sometimes, I don't realize an event was traumatic until I tell it as a funny story and notice everyone is staring at me weird."

- Rantaro Amami, September 2020

_______

Bartender, about Shuichi: Excuse me, is this man bothering you?

Kokichi: Ah- U-um.... Yes? B-but! He's my boyfriend so I pretty much signed up for this

_______

Therapist: Usually people who have daddy issues become strippers

V3 cast: WHAT'S THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN?!

_______

Rantaro being arrested

Keebo: Officers, please let him go. He's not dangerous

Shuichi: I mean look at his shoes, he's wearing avocado crocs

Rantaro: *looks down with pride at his crocs*

Police Officer: His crocs are not the issue, sir

Kaede: But they are AN issue

_______

"So, I got kicked off of the school project for good because I am apparently a 'dumbass' and 'reckless' and 'Kaito'. That's just my name, but you should've heard Kaede's tone"

- Kaito Momota , September 2020

_______

Shuichi: Covered in blood for sexy reasons

Shuchi: Also I accidentally stabbed myself

Shuichi: Don't suppose there's anyone willing to tenderly clean, stitch, and bandage his wounds whole calling him an idiot in a fond tone is there-

_______

Shuichi: We always had this gag on Kaito

Shuichi: For most of 10th grade he wanted to be addressed as "Luminary of the Stars" but we never called him that

Shuichi: Until during chemistry with Maki, he set his balls on fire

Shuichi: So we called him Luminary of the Burning Balls

Kaito: But I got sent to the hospital and you all got your karma, so who's laughing now?

Kaede: Well it's us