Hahaha I should make a headcanon book, but I'm a lazy fuck
So the rivalry between Kaito and Shuichi is a big headcanon for most saiouma shippers (I only know Saiouma shippers srry). And it's mainly because Kaito is mean and bullies Kokichi.
This is a long ass headcanon, and you are going to question my sanity after this.
Well I don't condone Kokichi abuse but I do hc that Kaito does poke fun at Kokichi sometimes.
Now why are Shuichi and Kaito rivals in a way?
When Shuichi transfered to the school, his house was right across the street. Now Shuichi's dad just loves renovating things, and when he wanted to change the color of their front door. You bet that he's going to change the color of the front door.
So he asked Kaito's dad to help out, but things didn't go correctly. And when Kaito's dad didn't take up the offer since as he quotes "Rules are rules" and for Shuichi's dad to run for election or something.
Now Shuichi's mom expected a campaign, yes- but what she didn't expect was a boat. A massive, 26 feet long, and it nearly blocks their entire driveway that he had to park it in the grass. Their conversation probably went something like this.
Shuichi's Mom: Honey?
Shuichi's Dad: Yes dear?
Shuichi's Mom: Why is there a boat outside?
Shuichi's Dad: To start a war.
And when his wife confronted him he starts going on the debacle about "Section 13, paragraph 3" and that he'll go and buy a truck to tow the thing, which he did so now he drags his daughter and son to boat trips, in which Shuichi had no say in, and at the lake house, it became a ruckus.
Obviously Kaito's dad glared at Shuichi's dad while that man just smiled and waved from his porch like the cocky bastard that he is.
Shuichi soon glances up from his homework to see his dad scrolling through face book, clicking as many names as he can. "Starting a support group for the insane?" asked Shuichi.
"No." said his dad, used to Shuichi's insults and sarcasm. "Remember Mr. Amami?"".... The one with the RV?" asked Shuichi. "Yes."
Naturally they were allowed to let the RV park in the neighborhood clubhouse's lot as long as they pay a weekly fee, which Shuichi's dad does pay. He didn't want to break the rules after all.
But he didn't warn Kaito's father on how that man was always high as fuck. So Kaito returns home from the bus stop, looking mildly traumatized ".... Dad? I think you need to call 9-1-1." And as the good father that he is, he asks what's wrong and Kaito answers with "There's a crazy guy with a raccoon, dancing naked near the tennis courts."
Now that was phase 2 of this war, and the next phase Shuichi's dad had to go on a honeymoon with his lovely wife. And he purposefully left his son in charge.
Because obviously Shuichi would listen to his dad without supervision because he's also the older siblings and obviously that MCR die-heart fan won't use that power for his own personal benefit. And he's obviously going to be the responsible adult here. Obviously.
Now it was hard since his father shouldn't make it obvious that he wanted Shuichi to make an insane party, the emo enjoyed rebelling against his dad at any chance that he got. So when Shuichi's dad asked if Shuichi wanted a baby sitter, Shuichi obviously knew that his dad wanted something.
"What do you want old man?" asked Shuichi, Shuichi's dad sighs and then says "I want you to throw massive party and invite everyone from your school there. What's it going to take?" "A car." said Shuichi.
Shuichi's dad: You can't be serious
Shuichi: You bought a fucking boat, which makes sense
Now, he can admit, bribing your horny as shit 16 year old with a new car, especially when you already agreed with your wife that he shouldn't get one until he took school seriously. But was giving him a car to throw a house part in order to torment your neighbor was against it, but alas, sacrifices must be made.
"Why do you want to one so badly all of a sudden?" asked the father figure, Shuichi dodged the question, but his dad, obviously had a bigger fish to fry. So when he and his wife went off to Hawaii, his instructions to Shuichi were as clear as day.
Complete and utter chaos
Shuichi, the proud owner of a sleek black Mercedes, assures his mom that everything was going to be fine. Now, Shuichi would've agreed to hosting an insane house party that include smuggling some cheap booze from his comrade, Rantaro, to just impress Kokichi, in which he obviously doesn't want to date.
Now after that, Kaito's father was at his last string of patience and how did Shuichi's dad snap it. Well after the party, in which the purple-haired father found his drunk as fuck son, passed out on the driveway, he noticed how his neighbor was placing lawn flamingos on his lawn. Now, how did Shuichi's dad start an attack with lawn flamingos?
Well the next day, when Mr.Momota woke up, he looked out his yard and every single patch of grass was covered by
Pink.
Platsic.
Flamingos.
The war is now on the home front.
Mr. Saihara was exhausted from the all nighter, was watching with malice as he saw his neighbors distress when an army of pink, lawn flamingos were at his neighbor's front lawn. In which Shuichi was debating if he should call a therapist or just move to his crush's house to avoid this World War Flamingo.
Mr. Saihara's family didn't really support him anyway, but they'll thank him when they get that emo door, they WILL
But for now, this was enough.
Mr. Saihara repeats this process, week after week, attacking without notice, avoiding the security systems that Mr. Momota decided to install to monitor a certain emo's insane dad. Bribing his guard dogs with treats, and he ha a thousand dollar weekly budget on lawn flamingos- and gnomes that he decided to add to the flair.
War was relentless, and Mr. Saihara had no intention to lose.
So you imagine his glee when he noticed how his own son decided to go on the front lines in his army of lawn flamingos and gnomes.
When the elections came around. You may be wondering which side won? Well the neighbors already knew about their rivalry and thought that both sides were insane so they decided to mess with them and eventually the Ouma family won the elections.
Though Kaito and Shuichi are still at eachother necks. The affects of a neighborhood war would last centuries
The End
________
You're wondering what you just read. I honestly don't know what I wrote either it's just war I guess
YOU ARE READING
:🌸: ➤ 𝚂𝚊𝚒𝚘𝚞𝚖𝚊 𝚂𝚑𝚒𝚝𝚙𝚘𝚜𝚝𝚜
AléatoireI waste my time way too much. This is just a mishmash of incorrect quotes from tumblr, reddit, and other social media 🙃💅 Ships: Saiouma Irumatsu Kaimaki or whatever Possible Rantaro and Tsumugi Possible Rantaro and Kiibo Saimatsu (Platonic) Oumami...